Now that the apes have risen, the cowboys have topped the aliens, Thor has quite playing with his hammer, and everyone has quit drooling over America’s captain’s chest, the world of movie goers – at least the world of gay movie goers – are anxiously awaiting the premier of Steven Soderbergh’s hunkorama production Magic Mike, which is shaping up to feature some of Hollywood’s hottest shapes. Sure, first we’ll all get to see Leo bottom for Armie Hammer in Clint Eastwood’s biopic J. Edgar, but Leo is getting a bit tired looking – and fat – and personally I’d much rather see Armie spreading those golden arches than treating Leo as the little sex pig we all know he is.
I made mention of Magic Mike, a movie based on Channing Tatum’s early years as a stripper in Florida, in my post ticking off Chan’s gay points and wouldn’t bother commenting further until the flick hits the screen. But the steady stream of hunks being signed for the flesh-epic has got me drooling in anticipation. The latest piece of beef to take on a role in the movie is none other than True Blood’s Joe Manganiello. Since Joe has shown everything but little Joe on TV now, ya can’t help but
pray wish think his little buddy may make its screen debut in the movie.
Joe joins hunksters Matthew McConaughey, Alex Pettyfer, Matt Bomer, and of course Channing Tatum and his penis, in the cinematic beefcake extravaganza of taut torsos. Chan plays an older, experienced stripper who mentors newbie Pettyfer in the art of taking it all off in a strip club run by McConaughey. Bomer and Manganiello are members of the member showing dance troupe (which sounds to me like they need at least another half a dozen pieces of man-meat to fill the stage). Joe, by the way, will be playing the role of Big Dick Richie, which just cries out for cinematic proof. And none of that fake Dick Diggler crap either, please!
And proof we may get. When asked about the possibility of full frontal being featured in the feature film, a source ‘this close’ to the picture said, “Stephen isn’t afraid of going there. I’m sure he will do it.”
The word was that hunky William Levy was also slated for a stripping spot in the film that will begin shooting in September, but he has since turned down the role. Career-wise, that decision means his fame will not spread beyond his Latin American audience as quickly. Mastabatory fantasy-wise it means I’ll just have to make do with previous pictures of the Latino hottie (and ‘cuz I’m that kinda guy, will add one here for you anyway).
The world of male strippers, a line-up of some of the hottest bodies in Hollywood, and a sorta out leading man (that’d be Bomer if you weren’t sure which fit that bill best) would seem that Magic Mike would be full of gay sensibilities. Or at least a few gay sex scenes. That remains to be seen. But Soderbergh has been travelling down the pink brick road lately, with Michael Douglas and Matt Damon starring and locking lips in his upcoming biopic about Liberace. He jumped at the chance to feature Chan in the bares all production saying, “It was one of the best ideas I’d ever heard for a movie. It’s sexy, funny and shocking. We’re using Saturday Night Fever as our model, so hopefully we’re on the right track.”
Saturday Night Fever was pretty gay in its own right and launched the movie career of Hollywood’s worst-closeted ‘mo, John Travolta. Well, not counting Tom Cruise. Or Taylor Lautner. So there’s hope with the bodies and subject matter he has to work with in Magic Mike, that rainbows will be sprouting all over the screen.
A few young actresses have also been signed for the movie, but, ya know, that’s just fish. And they’ll largely go unnoticed. With the exception of Avatar, I’ve not yet been impressed with the recent rash of 3D movies, an unnecessary trend that’s been overused. But with Magic Mike and the possibility of a galaxy of Hollywood’s hottest hunks going full monte? Give me them damn glasses!
Magic Mike will start shooting on Sept. 14 and is scheduled for release in 2012.
—Channing Tatum’s Penis Gets A Bump