Ever since Little Red Riding Hood focused on the big parts of the bad wolf, we’ve had a love affair with size. Bigger is always better, and yup, the bitch in red – the original size queen – ignored the wolf’s bad boy qualities homing instead on what big hands he had. A fable that should have taught us about the dangers of the forest instead convinced us that in all things, size matters.
Experts (sometimes known as sex-addicts) will point at various parts of the male anatomy as indicators of what awaits below the belt, with a man’s feet probably the best known and widely used predictor. Everyone has heard that men with big feet are also big where it really matters. Of course if that was true you’d assume there’d be flocks of gay guys hanging out at shoe stores waiting to see who asked for a pair of size 13s. Still, there does seem to be some logic at work; what supreme being would bless a man with large feet and not add a bit of length where it really counts?
Thanks to urologists, those brave men who boldly explore the darker regions of science most of us would never dare tread, there is now empirical evidence of the supposed foot-penis size connection. In a handful of studies, they’ve searched for supporting evidence and came up, well, a little short.
Two Canadian doctors won the Ig Nobel Prize in 1998 for their 1993 study that correlated the height, foot size and slightly stretched penile length of men. Their conclusion was that while both height and foot size could indicate penile length, the results were weak and that there was no “practical utility” in trying to predict penis size from either of those other measurements.
Five years later a group of Korean researchers addressed the subject again, measuring the length and circumference of 655 Korean men’s flaccid penises, as well as the size of their feet, length of their toes and fingers, the sizes of their ears, mouth and even the amount of hair on their heads. Lots of measuring and other than discovering that Korean men have small dicks, they too concluded measuring what you can see to indicate the length of what you can’t, is not the way to go, noting “the size or characteristics of body extremities is not enough to predict the penile size.”
I don’t know who Richard Edwards is, but dick size is evidently his passion as he published his sixth edition of the on-line Definitive Penis Size Survey a year after the Koreans struck out in their research. Relying on self-reported numbers, Edwards too found little correlation between foot size and penis size, but did claim there was a notable association between penis size and height. His survey says taller men have bigger cocks, but then it could be as easily argued that taller men tell taller tales.
The University College Hospitals in London tried to prove the point again in 2002 by measuring length of the two anatomical features of 104 men, and again found no correlation whatsoever. According to the study though, they did discover “The penis appears in virtually every aspect of life.”
It seems that science has laid to rest the theory that guys with big feet have big packages. I’d never relied on that myth anyway, believing the better indicator was how big of a bulge they displayed. Fact is there are little guys with little feet and big dicks and big guys with big feet who have small wieners. Men and their peni come in all sizes and the only thing any of them have in common is the problem of trying to find a condom that fits. But thanks to a company in Great Britain, that petty annoyance is a thing of the past. At least if you live in Europe.
A former trader with Goldman Sachs, Joe Nelson recently launched a new company, TheyFit, that has set out to revolutionize the condom industry by offering custom fitted condoms. The company claims they’ve spent over 15 years of research and development to perfect their line that offers 95 different sizes of condoms, sized for both length and girth.
The pre-lubricated, colorless and orderless condoms were developed by TheyFit because men are twice as likely to take a condom off midway through sex due to a poor fit, and ill-fitting condoms more than doubled the chances of them splitting or slipping off during the act. The company believes a better fit means better sex.
The custom fitted rubbers are now legally available in Europe and approved by the European Union. The FDA has not yet approved their use in the U.S., but Nelson says they are working on it and, hopefully, they will get the green light soon.
TheyFit provides a chart and instructions for measuring your penis to ensure you order the right size. If you want to order some, or are just curious about how to take correct measurements, here’s a link to the chart in pdf format:
No longer will you have to guess about the size of a man basing your guess off the useless measurement of his feet. Now you can just whip your TheyFit chart out instead and offer to measure him for a tailor-made condom.
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