The Gay GoGo Bar Worlds Of Bangkok

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Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars

Gay bars in the U.S. are pretty much all the same. The decor may be different, the type of clientele may change from one bar to the next, some may have a backroom, but basically they are all the same; you know exactly what to expect when you enter regardless of which city or state you are in. The gay gogo bars in Bangkok too are more alike than they are different from each other. But there is a difference, possibly subtle enough that a first time visitor may not notice. That first timer who forms an opinion of what gay gogo bars in Bangkok have to offer off of a single visit to one bar may find it an erroneous one. And if he then decides to visit a different bar he may be pleasantly surprised, or equally disappointed or amazed, that the new bar has little to do with the one he first visited. While every bar in Bangkok catering to the touri crowd operates similarly and offers a similar product, there is a vast difference in how they do so.

There are, to my way of thinking, three types of gay gogo bars in Bangkok, scattered around the Patpong area. There are gogo bars that cater to the local crowd too, but those are far removed from the regular touri haunts and are not places most occasional visitors to Bangkok find themselves in. Most gay touri do however find themselves visiting the gogo bars around Silom. And if it is your first time, which bar you choose can make a big difference in how much fun you will have there.

The majority of bars are on Soi Twilight. They too differ slightly from one to the next, but the experience you have in any is similar to what you can expect from the others. Pricing for drinks and off fees may be slightly more or less depending on the bar, the stable of boys may or may not be to your liking if there is a specific type of guy you like, and the aggressiveness of the mamasans may be higher in one bar than another, but the basics are the same.

On Twilight each of the gogo bars has a stable of bar boys from fem to masculine with most offering at least one guy who is muscular. All put on two shows nightly between which the bar boys take turns rotating on stage in their underwear in groups. During the shows the guys perform in various states of undress (and hardness) moving from semi-nudity to nudity to full on sex acts. Some bars are larger than the others, some have a larger stable of bar boys, and some get a bit more raunchy. But they all basically offer the same product under the same entertainment format.

As do what I consider the second type of gogo bar in Bangkok. I call them specialty bars – there are only two. Tawan, about a four block walk from Soi Twilight down Suriwong, offers muscle boys. And across from Twilight and down a small soi is Jupiter, which tends to have taller, lighter-skinned bar boys. The kind of guys who make it in the modeling world in Bangkok. Or would have liked to but just didn’t quite make the cut. You usually pay a bit more for drink and off costs at the speciality bars, and while not necessarily true there is the belief that the guys at those bars expect larger tips too. The truth is the guys there usually do get larger tips but that in most cases is due to the customers believing the boys are worth a premium.

The third type of bar I call the sleaze joints, though I’m beginning to refer to the area where they are located as Little Pattaya. Their numbers are quickly dwindling, but this small scattering of bars can be found just a bit further along the soi where Tawan is located. They are small, cheap, dingy places where pretty much anything goes. Drinks, off fees, and acceptable tips are all cheaper in these places than in the other bars around Silom because the boys are too. They don’t really have shows unless you consider the sight of a 65-year-old fat farang customer getting blown a show.

Screwboys is a world unto itself, a conglomeration of both the standard gogo bars on Soi Twilight and, though larger, the sleaze bars of Little Pattaya. Being located within the official boundaries of Patpong, it can be, and often is, open past the mandatory closing time of the other bars. It’s been known to have shows, but that is often dependent upon how many customers the bar has.

No one type of bar is better than the others, every type has their fans. For a newbie to Bangkok’s gay gogo bar world, your best bet is to try them all. Several times.

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Customer Serviced

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Gay Bangkok Eyes

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars

Neon tells Soi Twilight’s story, you get to guess the year.

I’ve occasionally linked to articles from Stickman’s weekly column even though the Stick covers the breeder version of Bangkok and seldom mentions gay venues. Unless you consider ladyboys gay. His site is listed on my blog roll too. I’ve always enjoyed his photography and while the minutia of the straight gogo bar scene in Bangkok doesn’t do much for me, the occasional overview of that world is still of interest. If for no better reason than to see how pricey it is to get laid when only one dick is involved.

But my interest in Thailand has always been about more than just satisfying an itch, no matter how frequently I may scratch it. Stickman often writes about events beyond the bar world of general interest as well as covering places to go and things to do in and around Bangkok. His column is a great addition for those looking for news and information about Bangkok. Even when he writes about Patpong it’s still of interest to me; it’s difficult to spend much time on Soi Twilight and/or Soi 4 without touching on Patpong 1 & 2 so those areas are still familiar though not where my main focus lays. As nice as it is having Stickman’s column to discover more about the Kingdom, I’d be just as happy having a site to visit that ignores the rest and just covers Bangkok’s bar world. The gay one.

A once familiar spot in Patpong. Gone now, not forgotten, but then not missed much either.

It’s a shame there is no Bangkok-based pundit specifically covering the gay bar scene. A few guys occasionally post on the message boards but seldom in detail. There are never pictures and descriptions of nights out at best include useless comments like, “Classic Boys has the cutest guys on Soi Twilight.” That leads those not in the know to think Classic is the hot spot, the place to visit. When what it really means is that particular punter likes ugly little scrawny kids who couldn’t land a job at any of the better bars on the soi. And when something big happens in town – like the Red Shirts decide to take over the downtown area for a massive barbecue for a few weeks, or mother nature decides the city needs a good washing from the ground up – there is no record from a gay man’s perspective, there is no insight into how whatever is going on impacts the areas we tend to flock to.

I’m not in Thailand often enough to serve that need. Being on holiday when I am, it’s more about me enjoying myself than about hitting every bar in town to provide an update on what’s hot and what’s not, even though when I do those articles are always the most read on this blog (except for the worldwide interest in Channing Tatum’s penis). Boo Hoo makes an attempt, as scandalous as it is for his soul to do so, but his perspective is about standing outside the window looking in. The result, while more detailed, is even more useless than the ‘Classic Boys has the cutest guys on Soi Twilight’ type of comment found on the boards. And just as misleading. Shameless Mac once covered the massage scene and occasionally the bars on a regular basis though his blog is no longer with us. Its popularity proved there is a need for a regularly published internet site dealing with Bangkok’s gay establishments. There are a lot of us who don’t live in Thailand who still want to stay in touch in between visits.

Silom Soi 4 has been the temporary home to many small bars, restaurants, and bistros.

Which brings me to William R. Morledge’s Bangkok Eyes website and its monthly Midnite Hour review of Bangkok’s night scene. Like Stickman’s Weekly, Bangkok Eyes is a website for our straight brethren. Unlike the Stick he includes info on both Soi 4 and Soi Twilight. It’s not heavy on detail, but he does cover bar openings and closings and includes photos of the venues. And like the Stick, when something big happens in town – whether it’s another anniversary of the King or a series of bombings to ring in the new year – he covers those events too. Usually from the perspective of the night owl and bar crawler.

The monthly Midnite Hour column is heavy on photos with lots of pix of neon signs. Those of street scenes in and around Bangkok’s more famous entertainment districts are often as familiar to me as they probably are to breeders. Funny how a picture of a small, dark, congested soi of little fame can bring a smile to my face for no better reason than its familiarity. I’m not sure how it fits in with the rest of the column, but there is regular coverage of graffiti (as art) too, which, personally, I like all most as much as neon. Go figure.

Instantly identifiable soi, at least to me. And the Ubiquitous Plastic Stools ain’t bad either.

Bangkok Eyes has been covering Bangkok’s bar scene since 2001. Soi Twilight began making its regular appearance on the site in 2006 (Soi 4 even before that, but since it took me awhile to figure out that’s what is referred to as Soi Katoey on the site it didn’t click at first). The old Twilight Bar was around way before 2006, but it was the soi’s growth into a full blown entertainment area that caught Bangkok Eyes’ attention that year, covered in an article you may find of interest called The Twilight Zone: Gay Bar Area Hits Critical Mass.

I first ran across the site some time ago when I was trying to pin down the name of the bar my friend Dave and I used to hang out at in Patpong when we first started visiting Bangkok back in the ‘90s. The monthly column incudes a historical look at the city’s entertainment nightlife from 10 to 15 years ago, so even though its archives of columns only goes back a dozen years, there’s info from decades before that too. It’s that historical record that got me thinking about the need for a similar site for the rainbow crowd.

Bangkok Massage’s upscale exterior once livened up Soi Twilight.

Even as scant as Bangkok Eyes’ coverage of the gay scene is, perusing the site’s archives brought up photos of several bars that I’d forgotten about, a few almost as soon as they had closed. I enjoyed looking through the pictures of the changing scene on Soi Twilight and Silom Soi 4 too. It’s nice to have a photographic record somewhere on-line that tickles long forgotten memories of enjoyable visits to Bangkok from trips so long ago they are but a blur lost amidst memories from more recent visits. Remember the upstairs Tom Boy gogo bar on Soi 4? Yeah, I didn’t either until I saw a photo of it on the Bangkok Eyes’ website.

Even Stickman doesn’t look backward often, so Bangkok Eyes has that niche to itself and goes as far as taking a specific look at the history of Bangkok’s bar world in special articles like this one on the history of ladyboy bars in Nana from March of last year. There has been an article about the mor popular hotels from the Vietnam era too (which for the record was before my time). An article from 2008 reviews the history of nudity in Bangkok Bars, and several from the Thaskin era reminds you of the morale brigade crackdown of those days too.

Bangkok Eyes is also home to some cool graffiti pix.

As enjoyable as using the site to refresh memories is, I will make it a point to read the column monthly from now on too; seeing the changes Soi Twilight is going through – either yet again or still – keeps me in touch with on of my favorite spots in Bangkok and gets me excited to be planning my next visit too.

For the current column of Bangkok Eyes, click here. Their list of archives are at the bottom of the page.

Back in 2007 Screwboys tried a stab at Soi Twilight where Fresh Boys is and was before moving back across the street. The $BM Disco never caught on either.

Twilight became the New Twilight which became Hot Male and briefly took over next door.

Signage from the distant pass.

. . . and I remember offing a guy from here too.

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Off Premise Offs

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Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars, Offs

Are off fees charged outside of hook-ups arranged at the bar just another form of extortion?

There isn’t much argument about owing the gogo bar an off fee when you decide to take a hottie home with you. You may decide to argue about how much that fee should be, but that you owe it is a given; it is one of the ways that bars makes money, by pimping out their staff. There is a good deal of arguing, however, about whether or not you owe a bar an off fee when you hook up with a bar boy outside of the normal manner. Some of those arguments make sense. But most of those arguments are not about what is fair, but rather about some cheap bastard trying to save a few cents. It’s probably not surprising that the majority of punters who feel they don’t owe a bar their rightful cut frequent Pattaya. It seems for many of Pattaya fans it’s not about how hot the boy is, or how much fun they may end up having with him, but rather about how cheaply than can get away with an orgasm.

Some bars have tried to ban the use of cell phones in an effort to alleviate the problem of a customer getting a bar boy’s cell phone number to arrange a hook-up later, after the bar closes, and thereby avoid having to pay an off fee. Of course the cheap bastards who pull that trick whine and moan that the bar has no right to prohibit them from making friends with its staff. They are adept at coming up with justifications that will allow them to stiff the bar over the stiffy they hope to have, but despite their protestations, it’s evident that what they are really up to is despicable behavior. The same goes for those who wait for the bar to close and then hit up a bar boy on his way home. I’m surprised I’ve not yet heard someone brag about following a boy and his short-time off to snag the guy after he finishes with his customer and before he gets back to his bar. But then now that I’ve mentioned it, I’m sure some skinflint in Pattaya will be trying that one soon.

If you feel there is a question about whether or not you owe a bar its off fee, and your motivation in that scenario is to save a few hundred baht, you’re wrong. And pond scum. Motivation plays a big part in answering the question, and yours is reprehensible. Not that knowing that will stop you from trying or stop you from coming up with reasons to justify your behavior. On the other hand, there are times when it is questionable whether you should be paying money to the bar or not. The answer may or may not seem fair. But you have to be honest in making that determination. Because in many cases, it’s up to you. And the karma points you’re racking up.

Someone has to pay for all that neon.

Years ago on my first night in town I dropped by Tawan to check out the action. One of the guys I’d offed several times before was working that night, and not surprisingly wanted me to take him back to my hotel with me. Unusual for me, I was tired from the flight and just wanted to get a good night’s sleep. Alone. But I told him where I was staying and suggested he could stop by the next afternoon. That was cool with him. And he immediately went over to the mamasan to report the scheduled rendezvous so that the mamasan could add an off fee to my bill. Rightly so. If you meet a boy at a bar and arranged for time with him – regardless of whether or not it is during his regular working hours – you owe the off fee. Period.

Of course the cheap bastards disagree and like to use the justification that the bar does not own the boy, that he does not work for the bar 24/7. That may be true, but I can think of thousands of jobs for which continued employment depends on your behavior outside of working hours. And in none of those positions does the issue of ‘owning’ the employee come up. That’s a false argument. As good as it may sound to your wallet.

Yes, bar owners are pimps. But you can think of them the same as being an agent in Hollywood. Agents rep their talent and get a cut for doing so. If a celebrity lands a gig outside of using the agent who represents them, the agent still gets his cut. The only difference between an agent an a gogo bar owner is the type of talent they represent. Or on second thought, maybe it’s not that different after all. And if you can’t get your head around the idea of a bar owner being like an agent, you can run with the idea of him being a pimp. What do you think would happen if a working girl failed to give her pimp his cut just because she hooked a john outside of her normal working hours?

Doesn’t ‘no cheating’ apply to customers too?

Over the years that same bar boy from Tawan and I developed a friendship. We often got together when I was in town for non-sexual activities; we enjoyed each other’s company even when sex was not involved. While being the rich farang meant that I paid for any expenses during those times together, I never tipped him. Nor did I pay an off fee to his bar. We never arranged those times at his bar and only got together during the early afternoons when he was not working. No problem. On the occasions when we did get together for sex, I did tip him. That’s how he earned his living and it was only fair of me to do so. And whether or not we arranged for those times while at his bar or not, I paid an off fee to his bar too.

Oh, calm down. That doesn’t mean under similar circumstances you have to too. It’s not an automatic must. At least not in an on-going friendship that does not take a bar boy away from his work. My decision to do so was for two reasons. First, I’m not unknown at Tawan and walking in to pay an off fee for a tryst earlier that day always resulted in a major boost to my rep. And usually a free drink as a thank you too. The bar loves me and so do the guys working there. Maybe that’s why I’ve never experienced the problems with Tawan guys that others say they have. More importantly doing so avoided any problems in case the bar owner, manager, or one of the mamasans ever happened to spot the two of us together. Doing so also did wonders for his value as an employee. And we’re only talking twelve bucks anyway.

Same same but slightly different is my relationship with Noom. He’s at a point in his career that he could easily tell his bar he’s taking a few weeks off when I hit town. That would save me a ton of cash in off fees. But it wouldn’t be very honest. Your wallet shouldn’t always take priority.

Do you owe the bar an off fee when you hook up with a bar boy on-line?

On the other hand, I hooked up with a guy off of Gay Romeo once, after messaging and emailing each other for several weeks. It wasn’t until we met in person that he mentioned he worked at one of the bars. We got together several nights during that visit. I never went to his bar. And I never paid an off fee either, even though our times together were during his normal working hours. The difference, in my estimation, was that I did not meet him through his bar and we’d set up our meeting without my knowing he worked at a bar. I’d take the same approach if I met a guy walking down the street in Bangkok. Unless I recognized him as a bar boy I’d previously seen working at one of the bars.

With more and more bar boys turning to the internet to find customers these days, the already fuzzy line between when you do and don’t owe a bar an off fee gets even further blurred. But it is more of a quandary for the boys, or maybe for bar owners. Most punters using the ‘net may be doing so to avoid paying the prices for offing a guy from a bar, but seldom is it specifically to avoid paying an off fee. And rarely is it to avoid paying an off fee that they know is rightly due. If you run across a profile that you know belongs to a bar boy, are you obligated to pay an off fee is you hook-up with him? Probably not. Unless he asks you to come to his bar to off him. As with any other type of off premise hook-up, it’s your call. Hopefully, you’ll do what is right and not just what saves you a few bucks.

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Pimp My Room: Joiner Fees In Thailand

Gay Gogo Bar First Timers Guide Part 4

Off. What?

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Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars, Offs

In the world of Thailand’s gay gogo bars, offing a bar boy means that you are taking him away from the bar. What the two for you then do together is not of the bar’s concern, as obvious as what you will be doing may be. That’s how gogo bars avoid the issue of prostitution. It’s really no different than how escort agencies get away with the same trick back in the U.S. It’s about companionship between two adults, not sex. Wink, wink. Since there have been quite a few questions about the process and fees involved recently – most of which I hope I answered in yesterday’s post – I thought a brief (for me) explanation of the historical basis of offing a bar boy might be in order since that tradition still impacts the process today.

Before there were gogo bars in Bangkok for gay clientele, there were gogo bars for the hetro set. Fish for sale has been a staple for visitors to the Kingdom for decades. The modern version got its start during the Vietnam War when Thailand was a popular spot for military service personnel on R & R. In those days like today, the bars made money off of selling overpriced drinks and for surrounding customers with hot naked flesh. And made even more cash from supplying willing companions to those who wanted a fuller experience.

Working for a Thai employer is a bitch. They don’t pay well. And employees are completely at their mercy. Being the cheap ass most of them are, anytime they can get away with not paying a satang to an employee is a good day in their book. So the bars quickly developed a set of rules that kept employees in line and helped keep their bottom line in the black. The rules, which did and still do change from one bar to the next, are all backed up with monetary fines. Show up late, you get fined. Don’t show up at all, that’s another fine. Some of the straight bars today have even begun fining their stable when a girl gets a short-time off and then does not return to the bar when she’s done. Even outside of the bar world fining employees is a popular pastime among Thai employers. And because it is part of how business is done in Thailand, employees go along with the system that deducts wages from their paycheck.

It’s always best for a gogo bar to have a large stable of employees on hand whenever a customer walks through the door. Sometimes I wish they cared more about quality over quantity, but there ya go. When a gogo bar worker lands a customer, that means one less employe to entertain the clientele. So the bars decided that employee should be fined. What we typically call an off fee in the bars that gay men frequent is called a bar-fine in the gogo bars that cater to the straight crowd. They are the same thing. Whatever the amount set by the bar for this fine is, it is owed to the bar by the employee.

Of course gogo bar employees are poor, and the customer is rich whether that’s true back in his home or not. Traditionally, customers have been expected to pay the bar fine on the employee’s behalf. And that’s cool with the bar. They don’t care whose pocket the money comes from. They are still gonna make a profit out of it. Plus most bars pay a very small wage to each employee for showing up to work – but if that employee lands a customer, they don’t get their normal night’s wage. Because it is assumed they will earn even more from the tip they get off their customer. That’s another fine that isn’t even considered a fine. But does add to the bar owner’s bottom line. This tradition is slowly changing but is still practiced at many bars. I only mention it here to demonstrate how much bar owners love cash. In case you never noticed.

So the off fee, or bar fine, is owed for a bar boy who spends time away from his place of work during regular working hours. If he leaves the bar three times in a night, going for short-time offs with three different customers, he owes the bar three bar fines. All of which will be paid by the customers who decided to off him. If a customer decides to off him for more than one night, the bar boy is fined for each night he is away from work (and unless you are a total asshole, as the customer you will pay that fine on his behalf).

The only time I have ever argued over the amount of a bar fine I was asked to pay was a night after having offed a guy the night before and after having paid for that night’s off fee. The next night we went back to his bar around 9pm so I could pay an additional bar fine because I decided to keep him with me for another night. The bar wanted their usual off fee, plus another 100 baht, which was what their fine was for employees who showed up late for work (he was supposed to be there by 8pm). Both the boy and the bar thought that made perfect sense. And in the world of Bangkok’s gogo bars, it did. My wallet disagreed. And actually won that one. Which still amazes me today.

So if you are confused about when and how much you owe on off fees, thinking of them as bar fines levied against the employe for not being at work should clarify the matter. For every night your boy is not at work – or is late getting there thanks to you, I guess – a bar fine is charged. Which you are supposed to pay. Thinking of them in this manner may also help explain why you should not expect a discount on the bar fines when you off a guy for an extended period of time. It’s like the fine you pay for speeding back home. You don’t get a discount for getting multiple speeding tickets; fines are seldom treated like frequent flyer miles.

A contentious question on bar fines is whether or not you owe the bar an off fee if you meet the boy outside of the bar and he does not miss any work hours due to whatever it is the two for you decide to do together. But that scenario has many different parameters, so I’ll cover that situation in a different post. Stay tuned.

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Your Heart’s Desire

I Lub You Long-Time!

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars, Offs

What is the cost – and value – of tieing up a bar boy’s time for a week or more?

Short-time off don’t seem to cause much confusion for visitors to Bangkok’s gogo bar world. It’s pretty cut and dried, the standard wham bam thank you sir experienced anywhere in the world. Short-time offs can last for the few minutes you need to a few hours, though they usually fall into the realm in bar boy parlance of, “You come, I go.” When it comes to loving you long-time, the rules change a bit. Or at least the confusion over the rules do. Long-time offs for newbies are an unknown. And with all the bad advice out there – that’d be erroneous advice from cheap-ass Pattaya sexpats – it’s far too easy to find yourself facing a not too happy ending.

What Is A Long-Time Off?
From the time you decide you want to spend more time with a bar boy than the few minutes it takes you to orgasm onward, the hows and whys of long-time offs are legion. The simplest approach is to enjoy your short-time off, and then go back the next night and off your hottie again. You can do that all week long, or as long as your libido allows. Whether it is once, or 10 nights in a row, each is a single short-time off and all off fees and tips are the same. But as soon as you decide you don’t want him headed back to the bar while you clean yourself up, you’ve entered into a long-time off. And, rightly so, that will cost you more. Though the off fee – the money you pay to the bar for the pleasure of taking him away – is the same whether it is for a short-time or long-time.

A long-time off can be as short as four or five hours. Or it can be overnight. It can also be overnight and into the next afternoon. Which, is up to you. And up to the boy (not all bar boys want a long-time off). If you keep him through the night hours or until the next morning, if your normal short-time tip is 1,500 baht, your tip for the extended stay should be 2,000 baht minimum. And it should be slightly more if you keep him through the afternoon. Food and incidentals during that time all come out of your pocket. And none of those expenses are deducted from his tip. Unless you are planning on keeping him for another day, your long-time off will end in the early afternoon. He’ll want to go back to his loom, clean-up, and catch a few zzzzs before heading back to his bar for another night’s work.

But a long-time off can also be for several days, a week, or as long as your time in Thailand lasts. It’s still called a long-time off even when it is for an extended period of time. Long-time offs that last longer than a single night and day are where the confusion arises. Not that it should. Because the parameters do not change. It’s the same as if you offed him from 10pm until 2pm the next day. Except you are doing so for several days in a row.

The Extended Off
Whether you offed your bar boy for a single night and then fell in love, or fell in lust the minute he took the stage, when you decide you just can’t live without his company for as long as you can afford it, you’re looking at an extended long-time off. If you are lucky and your bank account can afford it, he’ll want to spend that time with you too. But that’s not a given. He may have other commitments. He may be one of his bar’s stars and is able to land several customers a night. Or he may not be that fond of you. So before you start planning your wedding, you need to make sure he is agreeable to spending all the time that your little heart is desirous of. If he is, you are good to go. And the first thing you’ll be going for is your wallet.

The bar charges a fee for you to take one of its employees home with you – the off fee, or bar fine. These days that typically runs between 400 and 600 baht, though at times and at some bars it may even be higher. The off fee is for a single night’s work, if the boy is not back by the time the bar opens the next night, another off fee is owed. So if you plan on keeping your new friend for say 10 nights, you owe the bar ten off fees.

Some guys say that you should get a discount on those off fees for an extended off, based on one of two reasons. Or both. ‘Cuz they’re looking to get lots of sex at a cheaper price. The first justification is that bar boys get one night off each week. They then feel if they keep the boy for a week, one of those nights would be his night off and since he would not be working that night the customer should not have to pay an off fee for that night. I’m not a cheap-ass, but the first time I heard this bit of reasoning, it made sense to me. Until a bar owner explained further, and undoubtedly in a much nicer manner than this: After being forced to spend every waking and non-waking minute with your ass for an entire week, the boy would probably like to have a night off to himself to relax, catch up on his life, or go spend all of the money he just made off of you. By paying the entire week’s offs, you ensure he has that free time away from his bar when your time together is over.

Now if you are thinking with your wallet you’re probably also think right about now, “Fuck that! Let him pay for his own damn time off.” But then you are probably an asshole and one of the cheap bastards who likes to preach about respecting bar boys on the gay forums when it’s obvious you don’t. We’re talking less than twenty bucks. The hit to your karma alone isn’t worth that. And your boy will probably figure out a way to get that money out of you anyway.

The second line of reasoning for a discount on the off fee is that the boy would probably not otherwise get offed that many nights in a row and since the bar is making out by your offing him for a week or more, it’s only right that they give you a discount. Right. The mamasan is not going to see it that way. You are not buying wholesale. If you push it, you may get your way and save $20. After a lot of unpleasant negotiating. While your boy sits there watching you being a cheap bastard. He is going to be less than impressed, to say the least. And he’ll immediately start worrying that you are going to apply the same reasoning to his tip. Which you probably will. Good luck with that happy ending. You’re gonna need it.

Which brings us to the boy’s tip. Just like with the off fee paid to his bar, on an extended off you owe whatever your normal tip is for every night he spends with you. End of story. Yes, the cheap bastards who tried to score a discount on the off fees will offer up the same reasoning for why the tip should be discounted – that the boy probably would not have been offed every night otherwise and should share his good fortune by accepting a lower tip from his benefactor. They’ll also whine about how poorly their currency is doing, how bad the economy is, how expensive their flight to Thailand was . . . none of which has a thing to do with tipping the guy you took away from his life for a week or more. If all you can think about is your wallet, then do it proud and stay home. Or go inflict yourself on the bar boys in Pattaya. They are used to your type and are quite skilled at making sure you only get what you paid for. If that. And then you will have gotten cheap sex and a reason to bitch about how all Thai bar boys are duds in bed as well.

Walking A Mile In The Other Guy’s Shoes
Yes, it is your holiday, and yes, you are the customer. But you are dealing with another human being, not just a piece of meat. So it isn’t all about you. Before you start thinking about how cheaply you can get numerous orgasms for, stop and think about what your pleasure is gonna cost the boy you picked out. Instead of how lucky he is that you picked him.

Most guys who off a bar boy for an extended period of time want to spend that entire time with the boy. That means he is being taken away from his family and friends for the entire off. And – sex aside – he will be spending that entire time doing the thing you enjoy and not the things that bring him enjoyment. He will be eating and sleeping on your schedule, not his. He will be eating the food you like, not what he is used to. More than likely his English skills will not be that good and he will spend a week trying to comprehend what you are saying to him. And failing. Wanting to please, he will attempt to decipher your needs so that he can take care of you. And to top it off, he’s probably straight and will spend a week being pawed by a gay guy. That may all be part of his job, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

I’ve read comments by others who feel there is value – which they fell they should be awarded for – in that the boy gets to sleep in a hotel room far superior to his personal abode. And that he will get to eat at fine dining establishments, places he would not normally have an opportunity to dine at. Some take a trip out of Bangkok, either to another locale in Thailand or somewhere else in SE Asia, and they point out how lucky their boy is to accompany them, getting free air fare, hotel, food, and touring out of the holiday. But that’s your decision, not his. He might not even be interested in whatever destination you chose. And probably won’t be as comfortable with your hotel as he would be with sleeping in his own room. Thinking your largess is all positive points on your side of the balance sheet is faulty thinking. To him, his time with you – in spite of all the money you spend on your holiday – is all about the money he will earn, not about how much you enjoyed yourself.

You, on the other hand, will get even more benefits than a 24-hour-a-day sex companion. Just the companionship alone of having someone to dine and see the sights with is a plus. But you’ll also get a tour guide, someone who knows the best – and cheapest – way to get around town, someone to translate when it is needed, someone who will barter on your behalf and probably get whatever you are purchasing at a cheaper price, and someone who will help you navigate the myriad ins and outs of Thai culture and daily life to keep you from making an ass out of yourself. If you are lucky, you might even enjoy the benefit of making a new friend. When you consider all of the benefits you get compared to what he will go through, putting the thickness of your wallet at the forefront suddenly seems like a terrible thing to do. Because it is.

It’s Up To You
How much you tip is, of course, up to you. If you decide you are owed a discount, at best you are going to save just slightly more than $100. Compare that, and the amount of pleasure you received during your extended off, with what your airfare to Thailand cost, or how much your hotel(s) cost and it quickly becomes evident what a paltry sum that really is. Especially when that experience is probably the major reason you decided to holiday in Thailand in the first place. But then it’s not just how much you end up paying your long-time off that is up to you. Everything about your time together is.

And how do you value that?

A reader recently asked if when you off a guy long-time if that means he spends all of that time with you. Usually it does. But it is up to you. You may want a night or day off (and he’ll be thrilled). Just don’t start calculating his hourly rate to deduct those hours from his tip. Someone else asked if you buy him a gift, like a new cell phone, if that comes out of his tip. Uh, that one is not up to you – it doesn’t. Nor does any of the money you spend on his food, etc. What the two of you do during your time together is all up to you. There are no rules and on those decisions you can be as selfish as you want. Whether or not he will want to do a long-time off again on your next visit, or whether or not any of his bar mates will be interested in a long-time off with you, is up to you too.

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The Bar Boy Myth

Tags

Blogs, Gay Thailand, Gay Thailand Forums, Offs

The glimpse into the world of bar boys provided by some is an erroneous one.

Perhaps it is because fantasy plays such a pivotal role in many visitor/bar boy relationships that the claims about bar boys you so often hear are so fantastical. For those who have visited Thailand many times and who have indulged frequently, the myths perpetuated on the message boards and on some blogs are not a problem. They know it is often nothing more than the disgruntled and disenfranchised proving how miserable their little world really is. For newbies these often repeated tales can be problematic. Not knowing better they buy into what they have read. That can easily lead to a holiday that is not the incredible experience it could have been.

Over a hundred years ago, Rudyard Kipling wrote, “Oh, East is East and West is West, and never the twain shall meet.” His observation about the vast cultural differences between the two areas is still applicable today. Those who visit, or live in Thailand, who ignore the country’s culture or who filter everything through their own upbringing, rarely come to valid conclusions about Thais, their customs, or what motivates them. And often miss out on those things that make Thailand so unique and special. Unfortunately, those same folk often post their opinions as gospel truth when in fact they really don’t have a clue.

The lazy – and those with a predilection for dishonesty – repeat what they’ve heard or read, erroneously adding to misconceptions, often for no better reason than to appear as though they have a greater degree of knowledge than they really do. It’s a shame that type of puffery exists, but then overinflated egos being what they are, it’s not really that surprising either. It’s just too bad that there are not warnings posted on the forums alerting newbies to which posters’ info should be taken with a grain of salt. Or a similar warning on the blog of those who attempt to pass off fictitious flights of fancy as truth.

Bar boys may not all be angels, but seldom are the little devils some like to make them out to be.

Recently, there was a thread started on several of the boards, ‘The Boy Didn’t Even Say Thank You!’, that was a nicely thought out piece about why Thai culture does not provide for what is a common courtesy in the Western world. The boards being what they are, follow up comments included similar thoughts – which extended to customs surrounding the receiving of gifts – from those members who tend to be rational as well as in-tune with Thai cultural norms; ridiculous claims by Pattaya sexpats that only serve to show how narrow of a world they live in; and, what has to be one of the most unintentionally humorous posts of the year (so far).

A querulous old fart who abandoned his wife and kids to move to Pattaya to spend his golden years paying for sex with young boys said that he demanded his boy always verbally thank him and that he must make sure his mates did so too whenever the sexpat took them somewhere. That resulted, he bragged, in a group of boys lining up to say their thanks one night when he took them all out to the movies. Those heart-warming expressions of gratitude, he noted, were due to his boy’s insistence that his friends bow to the farang’s demands, and that they were offered with ‘military precision’. He felt that it was his right to put his cultural needs in the forefront and was proud of having done so while missing the fact that whether it is a thanks or a wai, it is the sincerity of the gesture that really matters. I’m sure the boys all got a good laugh over his antics too. That’s probably what they were actually thanking him for.

The same type of sexpat contributes frequently to the Walking ATM Syndrome myth too. There is little doubt that in their world bar boys really are only interested in money and view all farang as cash machines. Perpetuating that particular caricature is popular on the forums. Those who view all bar boys as paid-for sex toys share that belief. Seldom do they realize that it is their attitude that the unfortunate boys whom they’ve come into contact with are responding too. If you view your time with a bar boy as a sex for cash transaction . . . uh, just what do you expect? The follow through is that these guys are rarely happy with the boy they off. It amazes them that the boys are so often duds. Imagine that.

Stud or dud? It often has more to do with you than it does with the bar boy.

Is the money-grubbing bar boy nothing more than an urban myth? Of course not. As with most tall tales, there is some truth mixed in with a lot of fantasy. Bar boys work at gogo bars because it is a job. Not because they want to service ancient farang. They do so for the money. How much money though often depends on the farang and how he has treated the boy. When it is all about the farang and his needs, no one should be surprised that the boy’s response is to push his own needs: cash. It really isn’t that different from why back home a garbage man makes more than a school teacher. The more disgusting the job, the higher the wage. When you off a guy and treat him like a piece of meat, you shouldn’t be surprised if he treats you like a cash dispensing machine. But then telling everyone else that all bar boys are just in it for the cash is a disservice to both the boys and to those who don’t know better. That may be your experience, but more pleasant souls have a much more enjoyable time and are seldom treated as a road to financial largess.

The myth that purports bar boys all have a stable of unsuspecting farang who send them large amounts of cash on a monthly basis is almost as popular and frequently used as a warning against any farang entering into a relationship with a bar boy. From reading the boards and blogs you’d think there are rich bar boys all over Thailand living large off the ‘allowance’ a dozen poor fools from the West send to them. But if you stop and think this urban myth through, you’ll quickly realize how ridiculous this claim really is.

There is no doubt that a bar boy who spends some time with a farang may later ask for financial help when the farang has returned home. It’s worth a try, even if the success rate is a low one. That same boy may even have met several farang over the years who may, for example, send him a few bucks for his birthday or as a Christmas gift. If he is lucky and has met a farang with whom he has developed an on-going relationship, he might even hit the jackpot and receive a small monthly stipend from his friend. But lining up a half dozen or more Westerners who each send him several hundred dollars every month? It makes for a good story but in reality would be quite a feat. Bar boys don’t make close to 50,000 baht a month working in their bar. And they certainly don’t pull in that kind of money from funds being sent to them from overseas farang. Foolish ones or not.

Some would have you believe bar boys spend all of their time at internet cafes keeping close track of the seven farang who send them hundreds of dollars every month. Some people believe in Santa Claus too.

As prevalent as that tale is, you never hear it recounted in the first person. It’s always about some other guy who discovered his special friend was taking him and another six guys to the cleaners; it’s always the infamous ‘friend of a friend’ whose experiences are told about. Or the even more ridiculous claim that a bar boy – whom the teller of tall tales just met – told him about all the pitiful fools he’d been swindling. Because that, of course, would actually happen. We all known Thai bar boys love nothing more than confessing their nefarious deeds to a farang. Especially one who is a complete stranger. Anyone who attempts to pass that story off as truth is obviously genetically unsuited for the task and should instead devote his efforts toward producing the fictional fantasies his soul is more attuned to . . . sort of how a dog might concentrate on fetching a stick instead of trying to drive a car.

The guys who like to perpetuate these myths never claim to be one of the unsuspecting, though at least doing so would add some legitimacy to their fiction. Because it really is about nothing more than making bar boys look like crooks. Which I guess is supposed to make the farang appear superior. You have to wonder if they are trying to fool others, or are only fooling themselves.

The erroneous myths that the disingenuous like to keep alive play heavily on the cultural differences between those from the western world and native Thais (those tales are always about farang – guys from North America, Europe, and Australia – and never about other Asians). It’s easier to believe those who do not share your cultural upbringing are so different from you that they should never be trusted and should always be assumed to be up to no good. Rather than try to understand a different culture, it’s much easier to lump those different from you into a group and then make grand pronouncements full of sweeping generalizations. Even when doing so actually shows how much racism is in your heart.

The question may not be if you can trust him, but rather if he should trust you.

Kipling’s opening line from The Ballad of East and West is often repeated to validate the differences in culture between those from the East and West. The ending two lines of that refrain don’t get as much press, unfortunately; they paint a much different picture: “But there is neither East nor West, Border, nor Breed, nor Birth, When two strong men stand face to face, though they come from the ends of the earth!” Trying to understand someone raised in a different culture than yours is a noble effort if not always a successful one. But in the end, cultural differences or not, basic human needs, attributes, and morals are the same the world over. You do not need to understand the culture of someone you’ve just met to acknowledge their worth as a fellow inhabitant of this planet. Or to understand who they are or what motivates them.

Those lines by Kipling have a bit of a karma equation to them too – easy to overlook – that provides some insight into the character of the farang who disrespect Thai culture and ignore Thai customs, or who would have you believe every Thai bar boy is a thief. He cites the resulting similarities between ‘two strong men’ of different cultures, which is about strength of character, not physical strength. Those lacking in that attribute seldom see it in others. Or if you prefer the ramblings of a syphlific German philosopher to explain the warped minds of disgruntled farang – when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.
There are a lot of sexpats and frequent visitors to Thailand who’ve spent far too much time staring into the black hole that is their soul. It’s no wonder their perspective of others is so distorted.

Honesty is a honored characteristic everywhere in the world. It’s just a shame so many farang fail to practice it. You have to wonder about the myths bar boys believe about farang thanks to those who have misbehaved in the past. And hope they are not as faulty as some of the myths perpetuated by farang about them.

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Twas The Night Before Christmas (aka The Soi Twilight Christmas Stroll)

Tags

Gay Thailand

Twas the night before Christmas, when all down the soi,
Sex tourists were creeping, in search of a boy.
Neon lights were all strung – god only knows how,
While barkers yelled loudly their call of, “Show Now!”

The boys were all listless, but strutting their stuff,
Each a vision of youth, lined up in the buff.
Mamasan was in drag, the captain in a tux,
The boys were all wistful of making some bucks.

When out on the soi arose such a clatter,
The bar emptied out to see what was the matter.
The barkers were shouting, the soi all astir,
While at Maxi’s and Dick’s they all downed more liqueur.

The moon over Bangkok, red lights all aglow,
Brewed a promise of sex in the scene down below.
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a rare sight these days: a live customer!

Avoiding the touts, he made quite a mad dash,
And they knew right away it just might mean some cash.
Mamasan got busy, big profits her aim,
She shrilled out her orders, calling each boy by name.

“Hey Somwang! You Sompong! Little Lek boy, Aek too!
Now Tui, Wit and Mongon! Come On! All of you!
Get up on the stage now! Get out of your clothes!
Hurry up and look lively! Get into your row!”

The music began as the lights went to dim,
The boys eyed the doorway; an old man stepped in.
With an insincere wai, then an order of beer,
The boys began dancing now that payday was here.

With candle wax dripping, hard cocks to enjoy,
Mamasan saw dollars, and asked, “You want boy?”
The old man was drooling, abandoned to fate,
“Too many to choose from, but I’ll try number eight.”

“Where you from? Where you stay?” the cute bar boy cried.
“ I tink I love you,” the cute bar boy then lied.
The old man was smitten in a blink of the eye,
“How much will this cost me?” “Up to you,” the reply.

The show wasn’t over, live sex acts still on tap,
“Tip Me!” screeched the boy fucking on the falang’s lap.
“Everyting,” was the promise of what he could do,
So the check bin was tallied, the off fee paid too.

They strolled down the sidewalk: a straight boy, an old queer,
It wasn’t a long walk, the hotel was quite near.
Suriwongse has rooms, for rent by the hour,
A quick dash upstairs, then into the shower.

With lights turned down low – this bar boy was sure modest!
It took near forever, to get him undressed.
The blue pill kicked in, the falang started to stroke,
Then pointed at his cock, and gently asked, “Sa-moke?”

The boy spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
He blew, then he sucked, and finished off with a jerk.
Cleaning up with a tissue from head down to toes,
And giving a nod, off the bed he then rose.

His smile was heart melting, a quick kiss, just some lip,
With a sweet gracious wai he accepted his tip.
“Melly Clitmas to you,” he said at the door,
“I tink I take taxi, please 500 baht more?”

Wishing You, Yours
– and the guy you paid to spend the night with -

A Very Warm and Merry Christmas!

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Let There Be Lights

The Twilight Of Soi Pratuchai

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars

Duangtawee Plaza, Soi Pratuchai, Soi Boy, the latest in a line of titular incarnations for a zone of sweaty, smoking corruption and debauchery, a scene of capitalism gone raffishly exotic, a siren’s call that entices not a voyage of heroes, but a confabulation of horny, ornery, egotistical old cusses. Whorehouses in the guise of clubs, massage parlors, and bars are everywhere. As are slovenly doe-eyed boys out for a quick buck, willingly trading their youth for easy money. Old hands know it as Soi Twilight, never a more apt name for a street twinkling its neon song of lust and sin behind a scrim of anonymity and darkness, hidden away by its in your face existence, a lure for the world’s lonely and clueless, its sweet whisper promising depraved but fun-filled nights and mornings of regret.

Smoke is everywhere, along with the bright lights of marquees proclaiming Boys, Boys, Boys, and more boys adjectified by size, tense, and place. The sense of squalor and cheesiness is ripe, satisfying the low-rent desires of travellers who came to Bangkok not for action but for the illusion of action. Cheap punters hit a state of nirvana catching a glimpse through briefly open doorways of what’s happening on stage, where a gaggle of plump, embarrassed boys shimmy-shammy to a disco beat in search of sensation no longer realized by their numb and used bodies and souls. It’s a scene of the flesh conjured everything that Bangkok, that Camelot of the libido, is famous for.

The soi is filled with lumpy old men set in their ways, dressed in attire mistakenly thought of as tropical and fallen, dark socks over footwear intended for a younger generation. The lenses of their glasses are thick, their eyes are bloodshot, their rheumy veins evidence a roadmap of their misspent years. Their jowls are fallen, their faces swaddled in fat and unsmiling, drawn, serious. They drink a lot, smoke a lot, curse a lot. They bitch a lot. They wear product of another age in their thinning hair. And look as if they’ve never laughed in their lives, or had a drink with a boy, or gone to a dance. Or a ball game. Or a party.

Their faces have the gray pallor of indoors at night. The waft and stench of cigarettes and cheap sex, the flickering glow of neon, tangy cooking spices that momentarily penetrate the cloud of pollution that’s moored like a zeppelin over the city all combine to illuminate the masses huddled together in solitude. They are old men of the city. Sly old bastards concealing a history of too many tricks, their souls filled with the delusions of old men who think of sex too often and hunt for it everywhere.

But it is just as much the camaraderie of the disenfranchised that draws them to this tiny, dark, stuffy alleyway alive with those who hope to soon feed from their wallets. The boys for sale are an indulgence, an excuse. To know and be known is what matters. Yet it is an existence of time and place slowly eroding, an urban rejuvenation foretelling their obsolescence, yet another muse for their disapproval and discontent. Even the use of its former name that once excited and sent blood coursing through clogged arteries is destined to soon become a thing of the past. The grande dame that once was, the pudgy worn harlot that briefly held sway, giving way to an unbidden progress that signals the end of a way of life that few mothers would have ever chosen for their children.

The babble of tongues once ringing with the missing consonants of cockney and the braying bastardized English favored in Hollywood is now muted by a cacophony of strange whispers filled with too many vowels and unnatural groupings of letters that the gods surely never intended. The once predominant glaring whiteness of bodies too long hidden from the harsh truth of the sun is now muted, deflected by dark skin in shades of longing and avarice as vivid in their need as the neon lights that reflect wanting in the dark souless pupils of their eyes.

Signs that once proudly proclaimed in a tongue foreign to these shores that Arabs were not allowed, now flash their promise in characters designed to be read in an order unknown to those whose wallets once sourced the life blood of this soi. Boys whose pact with the devil once guaranteed a steady supply of fresh blood for the needy no longer are eager to learn mispronunciations of their love for the loveless, clamoring instead for the words that will fill their pockets with yuan, yen, and HK dollars. The prey-seeking eyes of the soi’s barkers ignore the ghosts of another time and wait to come to life at the sight of easier pickings and those who wallets are stuffed with a currency that still has value. The conquerors of the past, now guilty for having broken their world, begin to sup at the bloated teat of the conquered. Their day is done, their nights of supremacy twinkling into a murky consciousness of a world that has moved on without them, despite them. Elvis has left the building.

Those were the days my friend
We thought they’d never end
We’d sing and dance forever and a day
We’d live the life we choose
We’d fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days.

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If It Walks Like A Duck: The What’s What Of Bangkok’s Gay Bar Scene

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars

Whatever they are called the one thing all Bangkok gay bars have in common is incredibly hot guys.

Whodathunk that some twenty-five or so years later the results of my initial research into Bangkok gay bars would finally be relevant? Having already visited Bangkok a few times, and having already visited a few straight bars that offered paid companionship, it was high time to prepare for trying out a gay club. But where were they? And what were they? The internet was still in its infancy, but Dreaded Ned’s was up, running, and offered locations as well as a basic primer on the city’s hot spots of interest to horny gay men. Still a newbie to Bangkok, the only problem was none of it made sense. Beer bar, host bar, gogo bar, club, disco, and pub? All I wanted to know was where the hot guy could be found, and what it would cost me once I found them.

Experience is sometimes the best teacher. It didn’t take long, or too many visits to the smattering of gay night life establishments the city had to offer before the plethora of bar type choices began to make sense. It didn’t take long or too many visits to discover that regardless of the type of place it was, it was part of the city’s commercial sex scene either. Pubs and clubs may not have been an official part of the industry, but moneyboys didn’t seem to care and hung out there anyway. However any of the places were identified, if it sashayed like a duck it meant there were hot, willing, and available guys to be had. And in the end, isn’t that all that really matters?

In those days there weren’t as many choices of places to visit and few were grouped together. The Telephone Bar and eventually Balcony were pubs on Soi 4 where you could go for a drink, a bit of socializing with friends, and make new friends, many of whom turned out to be moneyboys. DJ Station and the Freeman Club were discos that later became dance clubs and were where you went to dance your ass off as well as making new friends, many of whom turned out to be moneyboys. With some dyke friends in tow, I finally visited a host bar in some far flung corner of the city; it was low key, upscale, and I almost choked on my beer when one of the studs explained how much it would cost to have him spend the night with me. Once I finally hit a gogo bar, the rest fell to the wayside. But I never did find a gay beer bar in Bangkok.

Gay pubs in Bangkok are great places to socialize with old or new friends.

Soi 4’s pubs have not changed much. The discos are now called dance clubs. Even in Bangkok, host bars were and still are always more geared toward a local clientele and never made much of a splash in the more heavily touri populated areas. Beer bars, once an elusive form of establishment, however, are on the rise. The punters on the gay forums like to predict the downfall of gay nightlife in Bangkok. But the truth is the scene is evolving and growing as it always has. And surprisingly, where gogo bars once held sway, all of the variations of night life establishments are today becoming an integral part of the scene. And for a handful of baht, you can still get laid at any and all of them. At a few, you may even get it for free.

For the newbie to Bangkok’s world of gay bars, knowing which type of place is which once again – or maybe for the first time – matters. With their need to know in mind, it seems like a good time to define yet again the types of gay establishments you’ll find in Bangkok.

PUBS:
I refer to them as gay pubs to define their difference from other types of establishments, though for most these are the closest to what you’d call a gay bar back home. The grand dames are still Telephone and Balcony on Silom Soi 4, with an overflow of like places along the soi that tend to come and go. I’d have to add both Maxi’s and Dick’s Cafe over on Soi Twilight to this group, the main difference being their location and the type of eye candy walking by.

Pubs are where you go with travel mates or friends for a quick bite to eat or to while away the evening with a cold beer or two. They are places to socialize with old friends, or to make new friends with fellow travellers. Most have both an indoor and outdoor seating area, with the outdoor areas usually filling up fast since they are a great place to people watch. Not quite the meat-market pick-up scene of gay bars back in the States, you can score here, but that’s not really their purpose. And while local gay boys do frequent the pubs, most are moneyboys looking for customers.

Prices for booze at pubs are more in line with what you’ll pay at non-gay non-commercial sex bars and restaurants in town. So cheaper by far than what it will cost you at a gogo bar. Paid companionship too is cheaper, there is no off-fee and the guys working pubs are free-lancers who will often be happy for half of what you’d be expected to tip at a gogo bar. Your safety in hiring a moneyboy outside of the few protections offered from host, beer, and gogo bars is something you need to consider and determine for yourself.

DJ Station has music, dancing, and lots of hot available guys.

CLUBS:
When you’ve sat long enough at one of the pubs on Soi 4, and the hour grows late enough, it’s time to move to DJ Station, still Bangkok’s #1 dance club for gay touri. If you still refer to these type of places as a disco, you won’t have quite as easy of a time meeting new friends, but providing you are willing to pay for their services, will have plenty of young hotties to choose from. Not that you’ll never find a new friend who isn’t looking to add to his bank account. The younger you are the better chance you’ll have, but with the right attitude even an old geezer can find friendly companionship at the clubs.

When the scene at DJ’s begins to die, the party moves to G.O.D. on Soi 2. As do all the moneyboys who have not yet landed a customer for the night. So do the horny local boys who aren’t looking for a fee, so your odds may even go up at G.O.D. Especially when the early morning hours come to a close.

Your cost for your night’s pleasure will be the same as what it would’ve cost you if you finished the night off at one of Bangkok’s pubs, and the AYOR aspects of taking a new friend back to your hotel with you are the same too.

HOST BARS:
Host bars are gogo bars without the gogo. Kinda sorta. The only host bar in the Silom area I know of is My Way, which has been around for decades. There are numerous host bars in the Sapahan Kwai area, many of which are dual-billed as karaoke bars. Host bars, like gogo bars, are there to provide you with a companion for the evening. The guys working at host bars are employees of the bar and are usually dressed in everyday clothing, though some may be shirtless. Host bars do not put on shows, nor will you find any of the nudity typical of a gogo bar. I differentiate between a host bar and a beer bar by form: host bars are not open to the street, beer bars always are. Their function is almost identical.

Historically host bar prices for both alcohol and companionship are lower than what you’d pay at a gogo bar, and higher than your costs at a pub.

Bangkok’s gay massage shops will work the tension out of all of your muscles.

MASSAGE:
If a host bar is a gogo bar without the gogo, then a massage shop is a host bar with a happy ending. At some, you can even get a massage. I think the lack of hosts bars, and their lack of popularity, is largely due to the many massage places around the city. The scenario is much the same: you walk in, pick a guy from the line-up – or have one assigned to you – and then pray for nirvana. The only difference is that at a massage place you finish your business on the premises (though at most you may also indulge in the take-away experience).

One of the pluses to massage shops is that most are open during daytime hours. So you don’t have to wait for night to satisfy your itch. Another is that the cost of your happy ending is a bit less than what the same orgasm would cost you at a gogo bar.

SAUNAS:
I’m not sure saunas belong in this mix, but since you can find an orgasm or two there too, I’ll cover them briefly anyway. Babylon is the king, or maybe that’s queen, for touri. Others cater to a local and/or mixed crowd and have their fans too. If you are looking for companionship without the accompanying costs, one of the saunas are your best bet. Not that you won’t find moneyboys there too, but local gay guys who are just looking to get off without much ado are far more numerous. You may even strike up a friendship with a hottie that will extend beyond the walls of the sauna.

Bangkok’s gay saunas are your best bet to find companionship not from the commercial sex scene.

BEER BARS:
Larger, glitzier, and more explicit seemed to be the way the scene was going in Bangkok for years. Gogo bars ruled and while some opened and closed from one trip to the next, there were always new ones to take their place. The idea that beer bars – especially on Soi Twilight – would ever become the norm was not the expected outcome, at least in my opinion. But then I’ve never been that good at picking stocks either.

Where once beer bars for gay clientele were few and far between in Bangkok, Soi Twilight alone now hosts a good half dozen. Two that barely qualified have been operating at the mouth of the soi for years, Hot Male’s downstairs open-air bar and directly across the soi, the Banana Club. I say barely qualify because part of the beer bar operation includes local guys to off and neither have ever been heavily populated by offable guys. But then traditionally, that is part of the difference between a beer bar and a host bar too. At beer bars, free-lancers were always welcome and made up the majority of those bars’ stables. The newer beer bars that have sprung up along the soi have hosts employed by the bar as well as free-lancers who work them.

The growing popularity of gay beer bars in Bangkok is thanks to three things. The world’s economy has taken a downturn and visitors are a little more careful about the money they spend; both drinks and guys are less expensive at a beer bar than at a gogo bar. Additionally, and partly because of the economic state of the world, more and more visitors from Asia are hitting Bangkok and less and less visitors are from western countries; beer bars are a friendlier, more approachable type of entertainment especially to visitors from neighboring SE Asian countries. And lastly, as difficult as it may be for a newbie to picture, the extreme sex shows put on by gogo bars for many have become boring. Hard to believe, but after your initial few visits it doesn’t take long to become jaded. So why pay the additional costs of hitting a gogo bar when you can have just as much fun, and find the guy you want even quicker, at a beer bar?

Don’t worry, the candles don’t last long. And neither does the clothing at Bangkok’s gay gogo bars.

GOGO BARS:Despite the advent of beer bars, gogo bars are here to stay. Nowhere else in the world can you see hot guys naked, hard, and in action like in the shows at Bangkok’s gay gogo bars. And though compared to the city’s other types of venues gogo bars are more costly, compared to anything similar elsewhere in the world they are incredibly cheap. And incredibly exciting and sensual for newbies.

Gogo bars, whether on the ground floor or up a rickety flight of stairs are always indoor affairs; what goes on inside is not something to be casually viewed by those strolling down the street. They are not the place to go to meet other travellers or make a new friend or two, though if you are willing to pay for the pleasure the guys you meet there are more than friendly. And there is a gogo bar for every taste.

Some gogo bars specialize in twinks, others in male model-like physiques. Some offer a stable of guys who spend most of their free time lifting weights, others offer a little bit of everything. And the smaller bars down the street from Tawan will serve you with a high dose of sleaze (and at a reduced price to boot!)

As a first time visitor to Bangkok you may want to start off easy, hot a pub, maybe work your way up to the relative amiability of a beer bar. But don’t leave Bangkok without taking in at least one gogo bar show. You will be hooked. And you will come back for more.

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Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars

So rolled over, one eye slowly opening as the tail end of a dream rounded a corner of his mind. The room’s ambient light gradually gave substance to the dark mysterious shapes surrounding him as his consciousness stirred, lazily trying to grasp what it was that had awakened him. He felt the unfamiliar chill of a silently running air conditioner on his shoulder, and just as he decided to there lay the blame his thoughts drifted off on a new tangent, summoning a picture of the crumpled cellophane bag tucked into the pocket of his jeans that still held a handful of the tiny white pills he would need in the morning to unclog his sinuses and keep him from feeling like he had a cold all day.

So’s mind cleared taking a second and as unsuccessful stab at alertness, focusing on the prodigious mound of flesh deep in slumber an arm’s length away. Holding his breath to stave off a panic that had not yet taken root, he watched quietly until the telltale rise and fall of blankets signalled the problem was not with the farang whose bed he shared. His head sunk back into the pillow. His thoughts sunk back into nothingness. His stomach spoke up and admitted to being the cause for his restlessness.

Cocooned in down-filled softness, So though how good it would be to get up, get dressed, and make his way outside where he knew just two sois away, even at this early hour, there would be a few food carts just coming to life, the aroma of cooking fires freshly started already dispensing a heady steam filled with the mingled scents of meat, vegetables, and spices fresh from the morning market. It was almost enough to pull him from bed. That was one of the things So liked about Bangkok the most. Any time of the day or night there was food. Rice, noodles, fish, vegetables, and fruit; a quick snack, a full meal, whatever you wanted to fill your belly, it was always available, warm and fresh just waiting for you to pick out what you wanted to eat. Visions of his favorites played tag with his mind’s desire to dream some more before he squashed the thought, knowing he was not free to go find food anyway. But this was a good farang. Maybe he would understand. Or maybe So could sneak out and be back, his stomach full again, before the farang awoke.

Still caught between a nod and wakefulness, So took inventory of where he was. He knew this hotel. Over there in that dark corner, just below where the television sat, was a small refrigerator. But it would be empty. This hotel was not one of those that came with a refrigerator filled with juices, sodas, beer, and the kind of snacks you could buy at 7/11. There would only be two bottles of water inside. Two free bottles of water. But he wasn’t hungry enough to try to fool his stomach with liquids. Maybe he could wait. And sleep some more. If the farang woke up early enough, this hotel had a good buffet breakfast. There would be familiar dishes, not as many as those made for farang tastes, but enough. And a place he could order as many eggs as he wanted, cooked whatever way he wanted too. The eggs sounded good. Their runny yellow yolks were worth dreaming about for a bit.

So knew this was an expensive hotel. He couldn’t remember how expensive, but did remember the first time he’d been here and how surprised he’d been when he’d asked the farang how much it cost. He could never figure out why the expensive hotels never had food in the refrigerator, but the cheaper ones did. It must have something to do with farang, even though the hotel was in Thailand, because it really didn’t make sense. If he woke up hungry at one of the less expensive hotels – and waking up hungry was not an unusual occurrence for So – he could quietly sneak a quick snack in the dark of the night while his customer slept. Maybe a bag of chips. Or a chocolate bar.

He’d be careful to hide the wrapper at the bottom of a trash can; farang never noticed the missing food unless they saw an empty bag laying about. Years before, before he knew better, he’d made that mistake. And his customer became angry in the morning. Over such a silly thing. The farang had complained about how much that bag of chips had cost, had whined that the hotel charged twice what it would cost from Foodland. He’d been angry over 40 baht. When he was paying 1,800 baht for the hotel. So had been embarrassed for him. But he’d learned a lesson. And besides, a cooked egg was better than a bag of Doritos any day.

So’s head fell back onto his pillow. He arched his back, lifting his head up to let it fall into the deep softness of the pillow again. This was a good pillow. Big. Fluffy. Soft. But not so soft he’d get a crick in his neck from sleeping on it. He turned over and buried his face in the pillow deeply, filling his lungs with its freshly laundered scent. Noi would like this pillow, So thought. He sighed dreaming of how nice it would be to have this pillow at home, how good it would be to lay in bed with this fine pillow under his and his wife’s heads. His eyes closed while his mind played over all the possibilities of how he’d be able to take this pillow home with him.

The pillow was too big to just walk out with. The hotel wouldn’t like that. And his customer probably wouldn’t let him out of the room with it anyway. He could toss it out the window when the farang wasn’t looking; there were so many pillows piled up on the bed he’d never miss just one. But someone would find it before So could get down to the street. The old man he pictured in his dream running off with his pillow turned into Noi . . . that would work. But his mind was too busy, still too much awake, to let that vision remain for long; Noi was back home in his village, hundreds of kilometers away, not waiting down on the street for a pillow to float into her arms.

So’s eye popped back open, focusing on his cell phone charging on the nightstand next to the bed. He could call Wit, his bar mate. Wit would wait down in the street, Wit would go along with his plan. But he knew Wit well enough to know he’d want a pillow too. And that would only be right. Would the farang notice two pillows were gone? Moving quickly through cause and effect as the human brain seems only capable of when asleep, his scheme involving Wit dissipated into a vision of his diminutive friend running down Suriwong with a large soft pillow tucked under each of his arms, and then crystallized into a picture of So riding off on his motocy with a stack of big fluffy pillows strapped to its seat. He laughed, quietly, at the thought, rolled over and enveloped the sleeping farang with his body, thinking he too made a fine pillow. And drifted back to sleep.

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