Dancing With The Devil In The City of Angels

~ Ramblings, Rumblings, & Travel Tales: Bangkok and Beyond

Dancing With The Devil In The City of Angels

Tag Archives: Bangkok

Bonus Shot: The Pause That Refreshes

17 Friday May 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in Bangkok, Travel Photography

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Tags

Bangkok, Markets & Shopping, Photography

At least those are colors found in nature.

At least those are colors found in nature.

I’m not a big fan of bottled water, generally preferring to quench my thirst with something that has a taste. And if your bottle of water does, that’s not a good thing. While I get the importance of hydrating, walking around a urban setting carrying a bottle of water with you like you are on safari or trekking through the desert seems just a bit affected to me. It’s not like we didn’t have water or bottles before the two began being marketed together. But how often did you see someone toting water with them everywhere they went thirty years ago?

Thanks to the heat, humidity, and the need to wash the city’s taste out of my mouth occasionally, when I’m spending the day out and about in Bangkok I do tend to carry a bottle of ice tea with me. I’m not sure why. But every morning my first stop is the closest 7/11 to buy a bottle. I never drink the stuff at home. But can easily go through several bottles a day in Thailand. Maybe it’s just my iconoclastic answer to all the touri carrying bottles of water with them. It’s not like there isn’t a place selling liquid refreshment on every corner of the city.

Juice stands are almost as ubiquitous in Bangkok as are 7/11s. Just a lot more colorful. They always catch my eye, even when in passing. Trying to figure out what juice each color represents is a mild form of entertainment. I doubt if my guesses have ever been 100% accurate, ‘cuz those that bother to label their tanks of juices always seem to use some strange names. I’m not sure what a logan is. I am sure that my first thought on seeing a chrysanthemum is not how good its juice would taste.

juice 2

On my first visit to Bangkok – far too many years ago – it wasn’t until we hit the Weekend Market that I felt the need for something to replenish my body’s fluids. Chatuchak is one of the few places in the world where carrying around a bottle of water makes sense. (Though even at that market there is a vendor selling ice cold bottles at every corner.) Thinking a nice cold Coke would hit the spot, I experienced my first (and last) ambient temperature coke in a plastic bag. It is not exactly a refreshing drink when the temperature is around 100 degrees and the crowds are packed around you like a scrum waiting for the gates of Hell to open. For all the advertising Coke does, you never see them use the coke-in-a-bag motif. No matter how popular that treat is in SE Asia.

juice 3

With the bright, vivid, exotic colors and myriad flavors available, juice stands would be and should be a bigger draw to me, beyond as a photographic subject. I know back home purple liquid is grape, even if its taste has nothing to do with what grapes taste like, so it’d be interesting to try purple in Bangkok to see what flavor the Thais associate with that color. But I am already familiar with what they believe orange juice is supposed to taste like from being served a glass at almost every free hotel breakfast I’ve ever had in the country. It’s closer to the taste of oranges than the color orange is back home, but orange juice in Thailand is more about sugar than it is about citrus. That’s not the kind of surprise you need first thing in the morning. And what kind of surprise is waiting for me if I decided to see what red tastes like at a juice stand is probably not something I really need to experience either.

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Sex Break: A Different Type Of Meat Beating

16 Thursday May 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in Sex Break, Thailand Travel Tips and Tales

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Tags

Attractions, Bangkok, Muay Thai

Taking a break from sex doesn’t preclude enjoyng some hot male flesh.

Taking a break from sex doesn’t preclude enjoyng some hot male flesh.

I realize that for a lot of gay touri the allure of The Big Mango is sex. For many it’s its sole reason for existence. But as enticing as a regime of eat, drink, have sex, repeat as necessary may be, sooner or later your batteries need to recharge. At some point during your holiday you need to take a break from sex. Even if doing so is with your latest conquest. Sure there’s always shopping, but with all that Bangkok has to offer, there are a lot of other things to do and places to see.

For the newbie, I’ve been outlining what I consider to be the best in my Top Ten Bangkok Experiences series of posts. It’s possible that some of those suggestions may even be new for repeat visitors. But there’s more. And so much more I can’t include everything in that series; running yourself ragged is not the best use of holiday time. Besides if you wear yourself out trying to see and do everything you possibly can, you won’t have enough energy left to enjoy what draws many gay touri to Thailand in the first place: sex. Sounds like a vicious circle, huh?

So I’m starting a new category, a series of posts about less well known daytime activities available to visitors to Bangkok, called Sex Breaks. They are quick trips you can easily fit in between the time you spend between the sheets. I can’t promise they will be as memorable as that hottie you offed last night, but hope these will at least serve as a comma in your regime of sex, sex, sex.

Cotton cord wrapped fists are the hallmark of Muay Boran.

Cotton cord wrapped fists are the hallmark of Muay Boran.

First up, because me being me even a sex break still allows room for some hot male flesh, is Baan Chang Thai. In one of my yet to be posted Top Ten Bangkok Experiences articles I will suggest going to see a muay thai fight. Everyone I’ve ever taken to see some muay thai action at Lumpini has greatly enjoyed the spectacle. And it’s one of those things you can do again and again and still enjoy. But even with its opening cultural rituals, what you see at the stadiums today is modern muay thai. Old school is different and not something you run across much these days. At Baan Chang Thai you can see how real men practice the sport known as the art of eight limbs. But if the sight of near naked men beating each other bloody makes you squeamish, you can learn about the art of puppet making, or take classes in traditional Thai painting there too.

Baan Chang Thai (House of Thai Artisans) opened nine years ago with an official visit by HRH Princess Sirindhorn. Founded by Kru Lek, its approach, unlike a museum where ancient objects are preserved and displayed is to preserve the essence of the traditional knowledge in Thai arts through a seamless blending of expressive art and mindful boxing. Aside from producing fine art works, Baan Chang Thai provides classes to pass on knowledge and skills to a new generation, classes that include Muay Thai Chaiya, one of the last surviving forms of traditional muay thai. And the school is highly regarded for its excellence and devotion to keeping these aspects of traditional Thai culture alive.

Painting, kickboxing and puppets may not seem to go together, but Kru Lek does not believe that art and boxing are necessarily two different things. He says that they are two sides of the same coin. “To be successful, both require similar faculties: focus, patience, mindfulness, and the willingness to dig so deeply into oneself that “oneself” is forgotten in the process,” he says. Muay Chaiya, which emphasizes control, concentration and patience, and aims to take advantage of an opponent’s energy by tactfully redirecting it at the right instant, is considered not just a fighting technique but also a sort of performing art, and Kru Lek occasionally partakes in performances that showcase Muay Chaiya more as a dance than a fight. But his hands are as adept at holding a paint brush, or making intricate puppets and miniature Khon masks as they are a forming a fist.

In addition to classes in painting and puppet making, traditional Thai art work is available for purchase at Baan Chang Thai.

In addition to classes in painting and puppet making, traditional Thai art work is available for purchase at Baan Chang Thai.

A native of Thonburi, Kru Lek comes from a family with a long tradition of artists, craftsmen, painters and sculptors. The skills he learned as a child from his elders form the basis for instruction at Baan Chang Thai (though he does not pass on the talents of his ancestor who served as a Royal Executioner). He has continued with the arts throughout his life, and today teaches Thai-style painting and drawing regularly to people of all ages. His traditional Thai style murals are displayed on the walls of several Buddhist temples alongside ancient works of art. Whether a beginner or skilled artist yourself, you can learn Lek’s techniques at Baan Chang Thai. Three-hour long Thai painting and drawing classes are held on Saturdays and Sundays.

In Baan Chang Thai’s reception room, showcases display classical Khon puppets made by the master, each adorned with intricate headgear and beautifully embroidered clothing. The foot and a half tall puppets take about a month and a half to complete. Basics are taught during weekend classes, or you can sign up for a twelve-class program and continue lessons on subsequent visits to Bangkok. Many of the works of art are for sale and can also be made to order, for visitors who’d like to take distinctly Thai souvenirs home with them. But the school’s main focus is on the art of the warrior.

Tucked away down a leafy alleyway on one of Thonglor’s side streets, this Thai arts and kickboxing school looks like any other middle class home in Bangkok. But it is no ordinary house. It’s ground zero for Muay Chaiya in Bangkok, one of the last surviving forms of ancient Thai boxing. Out in the garden in an open shed that serves as a gym, locals and visitors practice this ancient form of Thai boxing that looks more like tai chi than muay thai. But that’s part of its appeal and is why classes comprise students of all ages and levels of experience. Many people like to practice Muay Thai Chaiya as a way to keep in shape.

Baan Chang Thai is located down a sub soi near the Ekamai  BTS station.

Baan Chang Thai is located down a sub soi near the Ekamai BTS station.

Muay Chaiya was created by a warrior-turned-Buddhist monk in the southern Thai town of Chaiya several hundred years ago and has passed through a direct lineage of masters to Kru Lek. One of the schools of muay boran, it emphasizes control, calm, concentration, humbleness, and patience. Kru Lek says that a stable mentality, modesty, a careful and mindful nature, honesty, and gratefulness, are prerequisites for training in Muay Chaiya.

All instruction, which is given in English, begins with ten basic exercises pieced together to provide a safe and challenging workout. Drilling of techniques then takes the majority of the session, which run two hours long, providing an excellent workout both physically and mentally. Under Kru Lek’s tutelage, you don’t learn kicking and punching by kicking and punching. You learn the steps and movements from which all advanced techniques flow.

Originating from warfare, Muay Thai Chaiya is a very effective form of self protection, and it is for this purpose that the majority of students at the school attended classes. This form of muay thai stresses short, practical movements which are used to attack or defend on all levels and from a variety of angles. It uses the body’s weight to gain power at close range, so you don’t need to be big to gain power over your opponent. And unlike learning modern muay thai, there are no rules as Muay Thai Chaiya is taught as a form of self defense. So attacking the eyes, throat, groin, joints, and pressure points are all techniques taught because they enable the user to finish a confrontation as quickly as possible to reduce the risk of personal injury.

Group classes often attended by local young men are held in an open shed at the school.

Group classes often attended by local young men are held in an open shed at the school.

The interest in ancient muay thai styles like Muay Thai Chaiya swelled after the release of Tony Jaa’s first movie, Ong Bak. But Master Lek says the fancy moves that captivated audiences are all for show. He teaches only the efficient, practical style as it was passed on to him by his teachers and has resisted the urge to beautify and weaken the style with fanciful techniques and techniques from other martial arts, which has plagued the current state of Muay Chaiya and other styles of muay boran.

You can drop by Baan Chang Thai to view the artwork or watch students practicing muay thai during weekend afternoons or weekday nights between 5 and 8 pm. Classes run fro 300 baht for an introductory lesson to 2,400 baht for twelve sessions. The school is located at 38 Ekamai Soi 10. Take the BTS to the Ekamai station, and then a 20 baht motorcycle taxi to the school, or a canal boat to Ekamai Pier and a motorcycle taxi for the short hop to Baan Chang Thai’s doorstep. If you are interested in taking classes in Muay Thai Chaiya, painting, or puppet making and costs are a concern, check the Bangkok’s Groupon website, Baan Chang Thai usually has a special offer listed for introductory classes.

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Golden Motivation: The Karat Or The Shtick?

14 Tuesday May 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in Thailand Travel Tips and Tales, Tips

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Bangkok, Markets & Shopping, Money Matters

In Thailand, the traditional gift to celebrate your One Night  Anniversary is gold.

In Thailand, the traditional gift to celebrate your One Night Anniversary is gold.

Nothing says I Love You to a Thai bar boy quite like the gift of gold. A bit of gold bling to show off how much his most recent admirer values him is never a bad thing. And when that farang hops on his plane for the return trip home, the boy can make a return trip to the gold shop to turn it in for baht. It’s no coincidence that the Thai weight measurement for gold and the nation’s currency share the same name. But then the belief that all bar boys are just after your money aside, gold in Thailand has always been viewed more as a commodity than as decoration for your body. And with the recent price of gold dropping faster than John Travolta to his knees at the sight of a male masseur, you can show your love for a fraction of what it would have cost you just a few months ago. Provided you can find some to buy. The gold that it. The boys are always plentiful.

The savvy punter concerned about the status of his bank account quickly learns a thing or two about dealing with bar boys. This may be a good time to learn a thing or two about how gold is bought, sold, and valued in Thailand too. Thanks to Cyprus’ decision to dump its gold reserves on the market last month, the precious metal’s value has decreased dramatically. With Slovenia, Hungary, Portugal, Spain, and Italy all in line to pull the same stunt, it may even go lower. Some industry experts claim $1,200 an ounce will soon be the standard. But many experts also predict its price will again soar, possibly even as high as it’s September 2011 peak of $1,920 in the near future. If you are willing to take the risk, gold can be a good short-term investment right now. That thought is responsible for a run on gold in Bangkok; many gold shops on Yaowarat Road have no gold for sale thanks to prices plunging below 20,000 baht.

Gold Traders Association chairman and owner of the Chin Hua Heng gold shop Jitti Tangsithpakdi reported last week that Bangkok’s famous gold buying neighborhood was facing a severe shortage due to the feeding frenzy caused by low prices. “There’s no gold to be sold because manufacturers can’t produce the items quick enough,” he said, adding that some gold shops have begun competing with each other in a battle to buy gold from sellers. For bullion right now, it takes 5 days to fill a customer’s order.

Baht for a Baht Chain: It’s how you say I Love You in Thai.

Baht for a Baht Chain: It’s how you say I Love You in Thai.

Though gold is currently running at about 20,200 baht per baht-weight – up from the price that had earlier tumbled to 18,600 – Jitti believes that by the end of the year it will return to its levels from the beginning of this year, between 24,000 and 25,000. But before you decided to cash in on what may seem like easy profits, you should know a few fundamentals about the gold trade in Thailand. And before you decide to cash your affections in on a bar boy, knowing how Thais view gold ain’t a bad thing to know either.

Thailand’s Special K

Carat or karat (symbol: K or kt) is a measurement of purity for gold, not to be confused with the carat used as a measurement of weight (mass to be precise) for semi precious and precious gemstones. 24K gold is considered fine, meaning the alloy is 100% gold (actually 99.9% but let’s not get hung up over a fraction). 18K gold, which is typically used in Europe for jewelry is 75% gold with the remaining 25% made up of other metals such as silver and copper. In the U.S. the standard for gold jewelry is 14K, which is slightly more than 50% gold; it has a brassy color compared to jewelry with a higher gold content. In Thailand the gold’s purity is 96.5% or 23K though it can sometimes be closer to 22K and is often called 24K among those who don’t know any better. The purity of Thai gold makes it a good investment vehicle; it is easily traded and readily converted to currency. That’s why it has always been a popular purchase in Thailand and why your boy du jour will take a baht chain over the latest iPhone model any day of the week.

Of course Thailand being Thailand, while a dealer selling to touri will talk about karats, the price is always determined by baht weight, which is a unit of weight measurement where 1 Baht is equal to 15.16 grams of gold when it sold as jewelry and 15.244 grams in raw bullion form. With a purity of 96.5 percent (23K) there is normally 14.71 grams of pure gold in 1 Baht, which is a little less than half a troy ounce (0.473 ozt). The important thing to remember is that the only thing Baht gold has to do with Thailand’s currency is that you’ll use the latter to pay for the former.

The difference in price between bullion and jewelry is minor when purchasing gold in Thailand.

The difference in price between bullion and jewelry is minor when purchasing gold in Thailand.

The Gold Traders Association sets the price for gold and every shop in Thailand uses that standard; they are required to immediately change their display prices when the price is announced. Gold is sold in many forms – jewelry is popular for obvious reasons – while bars, biscuits, commemorative coins, Chinese coins, etc. are usually purchased strictly for investment purposes. While the price of each form differs from the standard price for gold bullion bars, it is a minor difference; a charge for craftsmanship on a piece of jewelry may be, for example, 200 baht. And a gold dealer’s buying price from a member of the public is often no more than 100 baht less than the price he would sell the same piece for. So a baht chain purchased, worn for a while, and then sold back for cash – assuming the official gold price has not changed – will only be devalued by about 300 baht from the cost if originally purchased in bar form. And that means while you are wearing your heart on your sleeve, your boy du jour will be wearing his net worth around his neck.

Putting Your Mouth Where Your Money Is

Finding a place in Bangkok where you can purchase gold is as easy as finding a place where you can buy bootleg dvds. But since the cost will be a bit higher than your new copy of one of Hollywood latest blockbuster movies, you should take a bit more care in where you decide to shop. MBK, for example, is a popular place for touri to buy gold. And some dealers there sell at reasonable prices. Many, instead, go with the prices charged to the touri trade. If its a bauble for yourself, a fair price is whatever you are willing to pay. If it’s a token of your affection for your boy du jour, the grimace on his face in seeing how much you are gonna put out compared to how much he’ll realize when he resells it should tip you off that you may not be getting the best deal in town. Ditto if instead of a grimace he greets the store clerk by her first name.

If you just have to shop for gold at one of the malls, look for a easily seen sign listing the current selling price of gold. All gold shops are supposed to post current prices as set by the Gold Traders Association. The reputable ones do. The rip-off places don’t. And those who charge based on the color of the skin of the buyer may, but the sign is usually small and hidden away. Or written only in Thai.

Reputable dealers prominently display the official price for gold at their shops.

Reputable dealers prominently display the official price for gold at their shops.

Yaowarat Road in Chinatown has been the home of gold trading in Bangkok for a couple of centuries and is the best place for you to buy gold. There are several hundred shops to choose from. Most will display the obligatory prices, often on the front window of their shop. The prices will almost always be in Thai, but that’s not because they want to cheat tourists, it’s that touri make up a small fraction of their customer base. Originally, the four main gold shops were Seng Heng Li, Hua Seng Heng, Tung Jin Aeng, and Tang To Kang. And while most shops are reputable and are members of the Gold Merchants Association, these four are still your best choice. For several reasons.

First, ripping a tourist off is hardly worth their time; they have enough business that getting some extra baht out of the occasional touri is just not worth the effort. Second, while you may not be buying gold to resell it some day, if it is a gift for your boy du jour, that will be an important part of the transaction to him. Any dealer in town will buy back gold from one of these four shops. A lesser known store, not so much. Reputation counts and dealers do not want to have to test every piece of gold for its purity. And lastly, there is value in any unusual experience and shopping at one of the Big Four will be an experience unlike anything you have ever encountered while shopping.

The size and clamor of the crowds inside will make you think they just offered free Justin Bieber tickets with every purchase. The floor of the NY Stock Exchange looks calm in comparison. You’ll also get some momentary enjoyment out of the confusion you cause your boy by being savvy enough to know where to buy gold, but un-savvy enough to not know he’ll be cashing in whatever you buy him early the next day.

The scrum that is buying gold in Chinatown is comparable to the melee that would be caused by a Sunee bar selling beer at 25 baht.

The scrum that is buying gold in Chinatown is comparable to the melee that would be caused by a Sunee bar selling beer at 25 baht.

Worth His Weight In Gold

You may think your boy du jour is worth his weight in gold, until you find the pricey piece of bling you bought him ended up at the local pawn shop. A familiar tale of woe, that scenario often results in yet another disgruntled farang who confuses the intrinsic value of gold with a token of love. Silly farang. In Thailand, jewelry and other gold objects function as a form of financial security; in case of difficult times the gold can be pledged or pawned until the family’s finances improve. For farang from the U.S. where the question of the legality of owning gold is still confusing to the lay person, and where the purity of gold in jewelry is too low to hold value as a commodity – the amount of work it takes to melt 14K gold down and extract the pure gold results in a value that is only a tiny fraction of what that piece of jewelry originally cost – it’s hard to grasp the Thai attitude toward owning gold where it is considered the same as having money in the bank. The fact is that the degree of probability that your boy will sell any gold jewelry you purchase for him is the same as that Thai gold’s degree of purity: 96.5% (the remaining 3.5% is ‘cuz I’m a glass half full kind of guy).

When your ideal of love and your boy du jour’s view of gold meet, don’t be surprised at the result. Your token of affection may be expressed in karats, to him it’s just another opportunity to participate in the typical gold for baht shtick embraced by bar boys for decades. You may think handing him a wad of cash instead might be the way to go; it would be easier on all concerned. But baht and a bar boy’s pocket is never a long-term love affair. Gold’s advantage is it makes you think twice before spending it, and most Thai bar boys need help with that bit of financial self-discipline.

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The Top Ten Bangkok Experiences: Part 3 – Same Same But Different

08 Wednesday May 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in Thailand Travel Tips and Tales, Top Ten Bangkok Experiences

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Attractions, Bangkok, Markets & Shopping

Shopping in Bangkok? Get ready for a same same but different experience.

Shopping in Bangkok? Get ready for a same same but different experience.

Bangkok is an amazing travel destination. There is so much to do and see in the city it’s impossible to fit everything into one short visit. For the first time visitor, the question is what you should make time for and what you can take a pass on. Until your next visit. The answer to that may depend on where your interests lay. For some it is historical sights. For others museums, galleries, and cultural attractions. Some like to follow the crowd. Others like to head off on their own. Their are attractions geared toward touri, and places you’ll be welcomed where you’ll primarily see locals. Unfortunately, no matter how good you are at scheduling your time, you miss a lot of what Bangkok has to offer. You can alleviate that problem to some degree by making the most out of every destination you choose.

This series of posts is intended to suggest a full mix of experiences for your Bangkok visit. With an emphasis on experiencing. And to do so by stacking experience onto experience. While some would suggest a visit to Bangkok without seeing the Grand Palace is a waste, I think your time would be better spent interacting with Bangkokians and getting a feel for what they do in their daily lives. What attracts me is the juxtaposition of the familiar with the exotic, and experiencing the unique twists the local population puts on things that make them their own. So while my #3 Top Bangkok Experience may, at first glance, look like it should be called Shopping, it really is the epitome of that popular Thai expression, Same Same But Different.

Contrary to popular belief, all gay guys are not into shopping. Nor is it a popular pastime for straight guys unless it involves a hardware store. Shopping to women, on the other hand, is as important as is the air they breath. But you are in Bangkok – which was recently voted the world’s second best city for tourist shopping and the third best city in terms of shopping value for money – so it’s time to get in touch with your feminine side and hit a mall. Just don’t get carried away with trying on expensive shoes that look great but cause your feet to cramp.

Bangkok shopping malls are a safe environment thanks to the ever alert security guards.

Bangkok shopping malls are a safe environment thanks to the ever alert security guards.

Shopping is a major part of the Bangkok experience because just like the aggressive ladyboys hanging around Nana, it’s impossible to avoid. Step outside of your hotel and there’s an 80% chance you’ll immediately be in the middle of a street market. Since you can shop almost as easily back home, you might think such a routine event should not be considered as a must-do experience while in Thailand’s capital city. But you’re undoubtedly gonna find you need some crap anyway. And even if you detest the idea of shopping, a handful of $3 T-shirts is always hard to pass up. Besides, this is Bangkok and even the mundane task of shopping has its own unique flair.

Bangkok is home to a never ending mass of major shopping malls, with several standing cheek to jowl and another half dozen all within a fifteen minute walk away. Take a short tuk tuk ride and you can easily add another six malls to that list. Some specialize in product – fashion, electronics, or tech goodies – others try to stand out from the crowd based on the exclusivity of brands carried, or lack thereof. I won’t go into which mall offers what here, you can read my series of posts, First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok, for that info if needed. Though if you are a true shopper you probably already have a plan of attack that will include every major mall and market in town. For the casual shopper, the infamous Mah Boon Krong (MBK) Mall will do you proud. Or do you in. But a visit to MBK isn’t just about shopping (unless you have your boy du jour from the night before with you), it’s about experiencing Bangkok.

Unless you really suck at selecting hotels, you should have easy access to the BTS. Your best bet to getting to MBK is Bangkok’s Skytrain (which is the same thing as the BTS, if I just confused you – though being confused in Bangkok is part of the city’s experience too). You can take a tuk tuk or a taxi, but traffic around the mall is the epitome of Bangkok’s crush hour parking lot-like congestion from early in the morning until mall shopping hours are over for the day. Your station destination is National Stadium at the end of the Silom line. And there’s no need to hurry and rush through breakfast, you don’t want to get to MBK before ten; eleven is even better.

Riding the escalators at MBK can be almost as much fun as riding a roller coaster. But not quite as safe.

Riding the escalators at MBK can be almost as much fun as riding a roller coaster. But not quite as safe.

Plan on spending an hour or two, even if you are only going to be window shopping. The mall is huge. And you’ll get lost for at least a half hour if you wander far into the floor that features a million or two cell phone shops (unless you are with your boy – he’ll already have his favorite dealer and will make a beeline for that stall). In addition to the cheap T-shirts, there are a lot of cheap, tacky souvenirs available at MBK, at a price much lower than at the touristy street markets provided you are willing to barter. Though at MBK you only need to extend a modicum of effort at haggling to get a good price. On the other hand, if you hate the idea of playing how much will I pay, the larger shops and department stores all have fixed prices. So no worries.

MBK is a great people watching spot. It’s also the best place in town to learn the art of Asian crowd etiquette, which will come in handy later when you are walking down any sidewalk elsewhere in town. But do be careful and familiarize yourself with local customs before getting on an escalator. Because getting off can be dangerous to your health if you haven’t yet mastered the art. You can also experience your first paid entry fee at a public restroom at the mall, along with your first experience of walking through a security metal detector where the alarms go off and no one pays the least bit of attention to you.

Like those who have come before, at MBK you can have your first taste of being waited on by at least six clerks to make a $1.25 purchase, with not a single one of them having a clue about the merchandise you are buying. And don’t miss the opportunity of stepping out into the parking garage to watch the Thai phenomenon of everyone backing their car into a parking space, usually with the assistance of at least one parking lot attendant blowing a whistle, all miraculously accomplished if not with skill at least while committing a DWA (Driving While Asian) offense. And you thought your day was just about shopping.

MBK’s food court is both an experience and a gastronomical treat.

MBK’s food court is both an experience and a gastronomical treat.

On the off-chance you do decide to actually shop a bit, there’s plenty of bootleg movies to entice you (100 baht is the going rate, but show you aren’t a newbie and refuse to pay more than 80). Cheap clothing abounds (XXL is the size you’ll need if back home you wear Large), knock-of bags, accessories, and cologne fill the aisles (imagine your friends’ envy when you snag a quart size bottle of Cool Water for a mere $10), and MBK is the best place in town to buy a pair of sandals to go with the black dress socks you brought for home as well as one of the few places in town where the staff won’t giggle at your need for a pair of shoes larger than size 8.

And while you should avoid KFC and McDonalds – I know the idea of actually walking into a McDonalds instead of using the drive-thru sounds exotic, but it’s still American fast food – you’d be foolish to pass-up a walk-away crepe smothered in whipped creme and chocolate and filled with pineapple and ham. But don’t go crazy on the junk food. Lunch hour is approaching (so it’s around 2pm by now) and you’re gonna squeeze in yet another Bangkok experience into your shopping trip.

Everyone loves America, so the local hi-so wannabees flock to Sizzler, Pizza Hut, Burger King, Starbucks, McDonalds, and the Colonel’s. You’re gonna a resist that urge and head to the 6th floor to experience dining at a Thai food court. This is Thailand’s version of indoor fast food; it’s much the same as street cart food but presented in what you’ll think is a more sterilized atmosphere. Not unlike attending a traveling carnival back home, at a food court before you take your stomach on a ride you exchange some baht for a handful of tickets. Which in turn you’ll fork over for the tilt-a-whirl gastronomical treats we’re gonna call lunch. There are about 100 individual stalls at the food court, each offering their own slice of Thai cuisine. You won’t see much that is recognizable so don’t bother spending an hour checking out each and every stall. Just point at something that looks like it is no longer moving and then dig in.

The Bangkok Art & Culture Centre’s architecture looks like a world-class art museum. But it’s much more fun than that.

The Bangkok Art & Culture Centre’s architecture looks like a world-class art museum. But it’s much more fun than that.

Even if you totally pig out lunch at the food court shouldn’t set you back more than $6; show a bit of restraint and you can easily eat your fill for about $3. And then pat yourself on the back: Burger King would have run you closer to $10 even if you didn’t super-size your meal. After you’ve finished dining, whatever tickets you have left can be exchanged back into baht (if you can find the right booth to turn your unused tickets in at). If that whole process is too much for you, no worries. Your next stop will not cost you a dime so you’ll still come out ahead.

Head back out the way you entered the mall (I know, but pretend it will be that easy to orientate yourself) and then cross over the BTS walkway to the ramp leading into the Bangkok Art & Culture Centre. Yes, technically this is a museum, but you need some culture. And to walk off the lunch you just ate. The Bangkok Art & Culture Centre is one of the city’s best deals. With several floors filled with local art and interactive displays the centre is a favorite hangout for Bangkok’s artistically inclined youth. And admission is free. The exhibits change frequently, so you’ll never know what you are gonna find, but what you do experience here is almost always enjoyable.

And it’s not the staid, security guard heavy art museum of the western world either. In Bangkok people touch the art. I know. But give it a try. You’ll feel guilty, but petting a painting is a tactile joy. There’s shopping available at The Bangkok Art & Culture Centre too, with a few places selling supplies and a few more offering inexpensive cards and small works by the city’s talented youngsters. More recently, some local artists and craftsmen have begun setting up small tables around the rotunda to sell their wares directly to the public. And that’s the kind of souvenir you won’t find duplicated at Patpong’s Night Market. You can also enjoy an iced coffee, Thai style, at one of the small cafes within the centre – consider inviting one of the young artists to join you and you’ll easily make a new friend. And finally, for the cheap bastards among us, use of the public restrooms is free at the Bangkok Art & Culture Centre. So you can save yourself 2 baht by marking your spot artistically before heading back to MBK where you’d pay for that privilege.

For once, your boy du jour will enjoy getting up close and personal in a dark room with you.

For once, your boy du jour will enjoy getting up close and personal in a dark room with you.

More shopping? You can. And probably will. But since there is art and then there is art, next you’re gonna experience a more popular form, even if that does mean having to wear a silly pair of neon colored over-sized glasses. While in Bangkok, you need to go see a movie. And with eight screens available for your viewing pleasure on the 7th floor of the mall, MBK is a good place to do that. You may think something as pedestrian as watching a movie is not worthy of your holiday time while visiting Bangkok, but like with many common amusements, Thais make the theater experience their own. Plus you can catch the latest Hollywood blockbuster for a fraction of the cost it’d run you back home, and there’s a good chance you can see one of Tinseltown’s latest offerings weeks before it is released back in the States too. Or you can catch a local production. But there’s a good chance it’ll be a comedy and trust me, that’s not an experience you want to go through.

MBK’s SF Cinema City’s theatres are more spacious, the screens are larger, the seats are more comfortable, and the moviegoers less vocal than what you’ll find back home. And they are air-conditioned to a point of freezing. Plus, when you buy your ticket you can select your seats, and (hopefully) grab some that do not have others sitting directly in front of you. Though even then Thais tend to be height impaired so blockage is not usually a problem unless you have the great misfortune of sitting behind a middle-aged Thai-Chinese woman with a beehive hairdo from the ‘60s.

Usually, though show times will come into play, you’ll have a choice of formats for Hollywood’s hottest flicks. You’ll be able to choose between an English version, one subtitled in Thai, and the 3D version, which usually costs an extra buck if you think it’s worth it. You’re gonna be attending a late afternoon/early evening showing, so the crowds will be sparse and your ticket will run between $3 and $4. If you are with your boy du jour, that cost will rise dramatically at the snack bar because he will have to participate in whatever rip-off promotion they are holding that offers some cheap movie tie-in souvenir. No problemo. Your breeder brethren get stuck shelling out the same for Happy Meals at McDonalds weekly. Besides, a happy bar boy is a horny bar boy. Know what I mean?

He’ll also be happy if before the movie starts you follow the audience’s lead when the film homage to the King plays and stand up in respectful silence. It’s a small thing, but that brief clip of the King’s greatest hits always produces a WTF? moment among first time moviegoers in Thailand. At least among those who are with a local companion or who have been forewarned and are not instead instructed on proper etiquette toward the royals by an angry mob of theater patrons. Your boy du jour will also be pleased if you demonstrate you are movie going savvy by getting up and heading toward the exit during the final few minutes of the movie. Because in Bangkok, that’s how they roll.

Been there, done that, don’t forget to get your T-shirt.

Been there, done that, don’t forget to get your T-shirt.

Now it’s time for dinner and another night on the town. Ignore your boy du jour’s wistful stares at the American chain restaurants you’ll pass on your way to the escalators, there are better places to dine in town, some of which will be covered in future entries to The Top Ten Bangkok Experiences series of posts. Today’s experience costs, not counting what you dropped shopping but with transportation, admissions, lunch, a snack, and your souvenir Same Same But Different T-shirt will have run you about $15 per person. Which ain’t bad for a day’s entertainment in the Big Mango. Your night on the town, as always, will set you back quite a bit more.

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First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok (Part I)

First Timers Guide To Shopping In Bangkok (Part I)

Bangkok’s Wat Khaek: Eh, It Coulda Been Wat Farang

24 Wednesday Apr 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in Thailand Travel Tips and Tales, Wats of Thailand

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Bangkok, Wats

Wat Khaek is not your typical Thai temple.

Wat Khaek is not your typical Thai temple.

To say Thais are a bit xenophobic is an understatement. It’s a cultural paradox that they view themselves and their country as far superior to everyone else while at the same time tend to be in awe of other cultures too. Historically, they’ve dealt with that issue by assimilating other cultures into theirs, and then claiming ownership rights while ignoring any origins outside of their own country. This is quite evident in Thailand’s brand of Buddhism where gods and goddesses from other religions also play central roles. It is not unusual to find Hindu gods, for example, in places of honor at Thai temples. It’s just not that you often stumble upon a wat where the gods of India have taken over.

It should come as no surprise to regular readers of this blog that I’m a wat aficionado. Any wat is a good wat to me. Big or small, popular or known only to those living in its immediate area, I’m always ready to step inside of any temple in Thailand I happen upon. My friend Noom, who is always willing to have a few words with Buddha, doesn’t mind the frequent wat pit stops I make. Other friends – who are usually watted out within the first few days of a visit – are less willing to indulge me. But I’m sure the gods take note of their impatience and will respond accordingly at some later date, perhaps when deciding whether those who have whined about having to see yet another wat should come back as a wealthy person or a cockroach in their next life.

It didn’t take too many visits to Bangkok for me to have checked out all the temples in and around the areas of the city more heavily frequented by touri. A few deserved more than one visit, but for the most part it’s been a been there done that attitude for years. So it’s odd that I never bothered to stop by Wat Khaek. It’s right on Silom Road, I’ve walked past it, or rode past it, a few hundred times at least. Maybe it was a bit of Thai xenophobia assimilated into my own system, a when in Rome do as the Romans do attitude that kept me from making a visit. And that makes sense. Wat Khaek, the temple’s colloquial name, literally translates as the Temple of Guests. More to the point, kàak is a common expression for people of Indian descent, making the temple’s common name an obvious euphemism for a group of people not particularly wanted as permanent residents. Unlike the locals, I’m not prone to looking down my nose at outsiders, but I’d be no more interested in visiting Wat Farang than I was in taking a closer look at Wat Khaek.

With all the colors of the rainbow you’d suspect Wat Khaek might be gay.

With all the colors of the rainbow you’d suspect Wat Khaek might be gay.

It doesn’t help that Wat Khaek does not look like a Thai temple. There are no soaring roof lines decked out in red tiles and topped with golden chofah. There are no massive white pillars, no grand staircases flanked by Naga. Instead, the temple is a wild collision of colors, a jumble of flamboyant gods and goddesses all seeming to battle for attention. Thai wats tend to have an air of tranquility about them. Wat Khaek more closely takes on the air of the hectic and congested traffic just outside its doors. But then the wat is not about the serenity of Buddha. It’s a Hindu temple. And it is dedicated to Maha Mariamman, the legendary Goddess of Death.

More properly known as Wat Phra Si Maha Umathewi to Thais and the Sri Maha Mariamman Temple to touri and those of Indian descent, Wat Khaek is one of the only two Hindu temples in Bangkok. Built around 1879 in a style specific to the temples of southern India, the wat is an important spiritual landmark for the local Tamil Hindu community. All those tailors have to have somewhere to go to beseech the gods to bring an unsuspecting touri or two their way. Not that Wat Khaek being a Hindu temple keeps Buddhists away mind you. Thais too worship here; many of the Hindu gods figure just as prominently in their individualistic approach to the Buddhist religion. My decision to finally visit the temple was stirred by Noom’s conversion to Hinduism, which in turn was stirred by his close alliance to and great love of Ganesha, the elephant god, who is responsible for bringing Noom all of the good things in life that he wants. And deserves.

Figuring a Hindu temple had to have a statue of Ganesha in it, I thought Noom would appreciate stopping by for a one-on-on with the big trunked guy. As we sailed past in a taxi one night on our way to Soi Twilight for my version of religion I asked him if he’d ever visited the temple. “I ever not been,” was his reply. Which convinced me that we had to visit, as well as convincing me that the gods had ignored my pleas regarding his insistence of turning a positive English word into the negative by throwing in a not or two.

Wat Khaek’s main entrance is on Pan Road, not Silom. If that matters to you.

Wat Khaek’s main entrance is on Pan Road, not Silom. If that matters to you.

To both of our delight, it turned out Ganesha was in fact well represented inside of the temple. He’s one of the three main gods at Wat Khaek. There’s also a few hundred more. Not to mention a reclining Buddha that seems a bit out of place. And to my delight – though of far less interest to Noom – there is also a small, central shrine containing a shiva lingam, a Hindu phallus symbol; anytime you can incorporate dick into a religious building you get extra points in my book. But Noom, who only worships dick when it means baht is involved, kept his focus where it belonged and quickly led me to where we could conveniently buy pre-proportioned offerings of milk, bananas, and incense to honor Ganesha with.

Duty done, having cared for Noom’s soul, his bank account’s future, and getting to check another wat off my list, I assumed we were done with the rather cramped and smoky temple; it provided a good juxtaposition for the more usual places of worship you find in Bangkok, and the colorful deities crammed into every available place on its facade were interesting, but none of it impacted me in the way most Thai wats do. Noom, as usual, had other ideas. He’d discovered there was a special observance for Ganesha the following week. And obviously, we had to be there for it.

This time we entered properly through the main gopuram, located on Pan Road. After having spent an inordinate amount of time perusing the offerings for sale from the vendors streetside. I’ve spent less time selecting a bar boy for the night than Noom spent on deciding exactly which garlands and which packages of Ganesha-specific offerings we needed to buy. It wasn’t just a question of what, but the arrangement mattered too as he gathered the items he knew were most appropriate, handing me my religious booty and making sure I held them in their proper order, before pulling one wad of incense sticks out from my grasp to discard it for another, and better one.

Ganesha is honored with a procession monthly at Wat Khaek.

Ganesha is honored with a procession monthly at Wat Khaek.

Inside, the temple was packed with worshipers (Ganesha is popular with all Thais who are in pursuit of money – which means pretty much every Thai), the atmosphere was intense, and we managed to arrive with just enough time to get a Paki dot on our foreheads before the procession began. And ended. Ganesha’s travel around the temple doesn’t take long. But the crowd of worshipers was suitable impressed nonetheless. As was Noom until he found out if you drop by the temple the day before you can have a special prayer said in your name during the ceremony. Unfortunately, I was headed back home before the celebration happened again – it is held on the fourth day after the full moon every month – but I’m sure Noom made a return pilgrimage the following month.

Difficult to miss, Wat Khaek is open to visitors from 6am to 8pm Saturdays through Thursdays, and until 9pm on Fridays. There are rituals conducted every afternoon, and several monthly celebrations in addition to those held for the major Hindu holy days. It’s not specifically a Thai site, but well worth a visit. Especially if you want Ganesha to spread a bit of wealth in your direction.

Colorful and visually confusing, Wat Khaek is difficult to miss when traveling down Silom Road.

Colorful and visually confusing, Wat Khaek is difficult to miss when traveling down Silom Road.

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The Top Ten Bangkok Experiences: Part 1 – Not The Grand Palace

18 Thursday Apr 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in Thailand Travel Tips and Tales, Top Ten Bangkok Experiences

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

Bangkok, Markets & Shopping, Transportation, Wats

What not to see is as important when it comes to travel advice as what you do need to see.

What not to see is as important when it comes to travel advice as what you do need to see.

A friend who is planning his first visit to Bangkok recently asked me for my recommendations on what he should do and see during the ten days he will be there. Not being the sharpest crayon in the box, he’d done lots of research on the internet first, and had quite an extensive list that he’d culled off of the ubiquitous Bangkok Top Ten lists that every travel site, blogger, and guide book seems to feel the need to publish. Nine times out of ten they list Jim Thompson’s House, which should give you a clue to how in-touch they are with the pulse of the city. Not that Jim’s place isn’t nice. But if you are counting off the top ten best places to see or things to do, a farang’s house/silk store really doesn’t cut it. I can easily think of ten things to see in Bangkok that would be more memorable. The Erawan Museum (the three-headed elephant building) should certainly be considered before Jim’s house. Unless you are an 80-year-old.

There are sites, then there are experiences. Anytime you can combine the two you have a winner. So that’s one of my criteria in recommending where you should go in Bangkok, and just as importantly, what you should do. There is a lot you can cram into a ten day visit too. Which is the worst possible idea. You can not experience a place you visit when you are busy running from one spot to the next must-see place on your list. So that too is a factor in what I would suggest for an itinerary – not overloading the day to the point that all you can remember from your trip was that you were exhausted.

Just as important as seeing everything a place has to offer, is doing nothing. Sitting idly and soaking up the ambience of any place is one of the best ways you can spend an afternoon. So almost every suggestion I make includes ample vegetating time. The one thing that I can’t add to my top ten list would be at least five of them. Because I haven’t a clue what they would be. Getting lost – which sounds more productive than wandering aimlessly – is one of the best ways to experience somewhere you’ve never been before. Sure, it’s not like you are gonna stumble across anything as regally magnificent as the Grand Palace, but you will find you will appreciate even more the little things that you do see.

This is Wat Arun. You’ve now seen it and can check it off your list.

This is Wat Arun. You’ve now seen it and can check it off your list.

Lastly, in case you haven’t already skipped to the actual list, I seldom recommend a singular site. So, for example, the #1 experience on my list is actually two. Three if you go on the right day. Or four if you do it at the right time of the day. Five if you count seeing one of the sites almost all lists include, though on mine it’s only in passing. And ‘cuz I’m an American and don’t do the metric system, my #1 recommendation can easily be six things, which ensures your body, soul, stomach, and mind have all been equally pampered.

Lastly, you might have noticed this post’s title says Part One. That’s ‘cuz I’m, not gonna give you all ten of Bangkok’s top experiences at one time. Y’all are too easily confused. So I’m keeping this simple and dragging out the info over ten posts. That also allows me to add links at the bottom that further cover the places I’ll mention. That way I don’t have to bog you down with details now. If you are interested in more info, those other posts will fill in the gaps. And so we’re off . . .

Yes, the Grand Palace is grand. And well worth a visit. You can use it as an excuse to come back to Bangkok again. Ten days isn’t long enough to see everything there is to see in Bangkok, and one day is not long enough to see both the Grand Palace and Wat Pho. Which is what most people try to do and end up not fully experiencing either. It’s a holiday, not a check-list. So skip the Grand Palace and do Wat Pho instead. The Reclining Buddha is more impressive than the Emerald Buddha (which, if it really was made of emerald would make a difference). Wat Pho is also interactive, so you’ll have more fun. And you can get a real Thai massage, possibly the best non-happy ending one in Bangkok.

Seeing street food in Bangkok is not an experience. Eating it is.

Seeing street food in Bangkok is not an experience. Eating it is.

Take one of the express boats up the Chao Phraya River to get to Wat Pho. That is an experience in itself. And you’ll get to see Wat Arun along the way, which if you are following my advice you won’t be otherwise visiting. At Wat Pho do not just dash in for a quick look at the Reclining Buddha. Take at least an hour to wander through the entire complex. And then stop and get a massage before you leave.

When you are done with the wat, head toward the Grand Palace but walk along the riverside of the street. There is a small street market along the path, bigger on weekends, but worth a slow stroll any day of the week. When you get to Tha Chang Pier, stop and have lunch. Or at least a snack. You can not say you’ve experienced Bangkok if you have not tried some street food and there are enough vendors at the pier offering a wide enough variety of food that you’ll find something you’ll like. But don’t over do it. You have more walking to do.

After lunch head back out to the main road and turn left. Pat yourself on the back as you do ‘cuz you get to ignore all the local touts who want to tell you the Grand Palace is closed. You aren’t headed there anyway. Your destination is the Mahathat amulet market, which starts as soon as you turn left and proceed on your journey. During the week there may only be a few street vendors, but all of the stores in the old shop houses will be open. On weekends the street is lined with temporary vendors offering every possible thing a good Buddhist needs for a happy life, and more on top of that. You will be fascinated. And occasionally repulsed. Watch for the large piles of amulets, they run about 5 baht each and make for a great, cheap, souvenir.

Even downtime can be productive. Especially when it is in a covered pedestrian mall cooled by river breezes.

Even downtime can be productive. Especially when it is in a covered pedestrian mall cooled by river breezes.

On the opposite side of the street for most of your walk will be the wall and occasional gate for Wat Mahathat. And no, you won’t be seeing that wat either. But where the wall ends, watch for a small lane on your side of the street leading toward the river. This is Trok Phra Chan Klang. It’s a shady, cool little covered arcade where you can stop and have a nonalcoholic drink. Even better, you can have your fortune told. Thais take fortune telling quit seriously, and even if you are not a believer you will be suitably impressed with the wealth of information about you and your future that you get for about $3.00. You may also discover that you need a specific amulet or talisman to ward off some of the bad luck the fortune teller saw coming your way. No problemo. You’re gonna have to backtrack through the amulet market to get to the riverboats again and with a shopping list you’ll have something to do.

You’ll be re-boarding the express boats from the same pier you disembarked at several hours ago. Yes, you could get on at the Tha Chang Pier instead, but then you’d miss one of the most important parts of today’s outing. Just before Tha Tien Pier (the one you want) there is a riverside park. It’s not impressive as parks go, mostly a few walkways, a lawn area or two, some flower beds – in case you need a photograph of a lotus – and a handful of concrete benches. But that’s cool. You are not there to be impressed. You are there to do what a holiday is all about: nothing. Pick a spot, kick back, and just enjoy life. The traffic on the river will keep your attention, and the people watching along the river’s bank ain’t bad either.

A full day’s outing – which you do not have to jump out of bed at some ungodly hour for – this is my #1 recommendation for your first full day in town. It’ll give you a great overview of the people of Bangkok, and you’ll get to sneak in some culture without having to visit some stuffy museum. Better yet, it’s cheap. Admission fees, massage, feeding satang into alms bowls, lunch, a cheap souvenir, having your fortune told, refreshments, and transpo along the river will set you back less than $25.00 per person. And that’s a good thing. ‘Cuz your #2 Bangkok experience ain’t gonna be cheap . . .

Bangkokians take their religious amulet purchases seriously. And, seriously,  you should pick up a cheap one as a souvenir of your day’s outing too.

Bangkokians take their religious amulet purchases seriously. And, seriously, you should pick up a cheap one as a souvenir of your day’s outing too.

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Bangkok’s Wat Pho and the Reclining Buddha

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Bonus Shot: And We Cooked The Bunny Too

30 Saturday Mar 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in Bangkok, Travel Photography

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Bangkok, Photography

Thai eggs

Easter is not one of the western holidays celebrated in Thailand much. Songkran is just a few weeks away, so some odd holiday that has to do with bunnies and hiding eggs just doesn’t make a blip on the locals’ radar. It’s not like it is much of a gift getting holiday anyway. But I will have to mention it to Noom sometime, just to watch his face as he works through our tradition of coloring eggs, that’s business as usual in Thailand. I expect unsuspecting first time visitors this week assumed it was about Easter when spotting a bowl of multi-hued eggs at the local street market, but I doubt they ever spotted any Peeps. They’d melt in Bangkok’s heat and humidity. Which, come to think about it, might not be that bad of a thing.

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Bonus Shot: Busy At Work

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The Fabled Black Buddha Of Bangkok

29 Friday Mar 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in Thailand Travel Tips and Tales, Tips

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Bangkok, Scams, Stupid Tourist Tricks, Wats

A black Buddha, but not The Black Buddha.

A black Buddha, but not The Black Buddha.

The year was 1993, and finally, after several trips to Thailand the locals were showing their appreciation for my interest in their country by rewarding me with the knowledge of an inside scoop worth some big bucks. The gods were looking kindly on me and my fellow band of merry travelers that day; we’d managed to be in Bangkok for the Amazing One Day Only Government Sponsored Gem and Jewelry Sale, and thanks to a friendly and helpful local we’d just been clued into that fact. Shame about the Grand Palace being closed though.

Thanks to karma being what it is, since that trip I’ve been extremely fortunate to have managed to be in Bangkok at the same time an Amazing One Day Only Government Sponsored Gem and Jewelry Sale has been happening again. On several occasions. I’m just not sure why the Thai government feels it’s necessary to close thee Grand Palace every time they hold one of their special Gem sales. It must have something to do with Buddhism.

Of course while any Thai tuk tuk driver worth his salt is gonna help celebrate your good fortune by delivering you to where you can make a killing buying gems and jewelry to resell back home at astronomical markups, as a Buddhist, your soul is what really matters to him. When the gods bless you with financial riches, it’s only right that you respond by showing them proper reverence. Being a farang, you may not realize this. No problemo. Before your Officially Licensed By The Thai Government Tuk Tuk Driver takes you to where you’ll be able to begin living the life of the rich and famous, he will take you to see Buddha. If he really cares about you, he may even take you to where you can have a nice suit made for the price of a meal at McDonalds so that you are appropriately attired for your meeting with Buddha. And in your nice new Custom Made Suit Ready In One Hour, you’ll look so splendid your tuk tuk driver will undoubtedly bless you with one of those warm and jubilant smiles Thailand is known for.

Still not The Black Buddha.

Still not The Black Buddha.

Being the lucky guy that I am, I have a closet filled with a variety of Custom Made Suits Ready In One Hour from my numerous visits to Bangkok, as well as a drawer or two filled with all the goodies I snatched up visiting an Amazing One Day Only Government Sponsored Gem and Jewelry Sale. I am truly blessed. Or would be. But while a procession of different Officially Licensed By The Thai Government Tuk Tuk Drivers have seen to my spiritual needs over the years by escorting me to The Golden Buddha, The Lucky Buddha, The Giant Buddha, and The Lucky Giant Golden Buddha, from a recent search on Google I’ve learned that I have been missing out. Not one Officially Licensed By The Thai Government Tuk Tuk Driver has ever taken me for an audience with the fabled Black Buddha of Bangkok. And as much as I love Thailand and consider the Thai people to be next to gods for their deeply held religious belief that all visitors to their wonderful country be personally blessed by the local deities – before being equally enriched thanks to an Amazing One Day Only Government Sponsored Gem and Jewelry Sale – I hate to admit that I’ve come to the conclusion that Thai people are racists.

Golden Buddhas, even the lucky ones, are a dime a dozen in Bangkok. No really. At the amulet market behind Wat Ratchanadda you can buy a dozen small golden Buddhas for a dime. The fabled Black Buddha is a different story. At least it is if you are a visitor from a western country. White folk don’t get taken to see The Black Buddha. That honor is reserved for those visitors whose skin color comes closer to matching the tones of The Black Buddha. Anyone visiting from an Asian, Middle-Eastern, or Latino country is afforded the opportunity of visiting The Temple Of The Black Buddha. Us farang have to make due with a Buddha covered in gold. It’s a shameful blight on the reputation of Thailand. I’m amazed the Thai Government allows this injustice to exist.

Now I’m sure those of you who insist on viewing The Land Of Smiles through rose-colored glasses are objecting right about now. “But dude! I’ve seen a black Buddha in Bangkok!” you’re saying. And I’m sure you have. I have too. But did an Officially Licensed By The Thai Government Tuk Tuk Driver take you to se that Buddha? I bet not. Because while you may have seen a black Buddha, you probably have not seen The Black Buddha. If you had, you’d know The Black Buddha is not black.

Nope. This isn’t The Black Buddha either.

Nope. This isn’t The Black Buddha either.

As soon as I heard my soul was not properly being tended to in Bangkok, I turned to the world’s premier source for all things religious, Google. A search on ‘black Buddha Bangkok’ returns 6,810,000 hits, and every single website listed on the first page of Google’s search results is a trip report from a non-white visitor who was blessed with the opportunity of being taken to see The Black Buddha by an Officially Licensed By The Thai Government Tuk Tuk Driver (except for one guy who tried to pull a fast one by having the last name of Black. Didn’t work. He only got to see The Lucky Giant Golden Buddha.)

Not being native English speakers, these folk have all translated the word ‘visit’ incorrectly, thinking the proper word is ‘scam’ but then we all know how difficult English is to learn. (I have to admit that while I’d like to think this is just a common error in language usage, now that I know how racists Thai are I suspect this may also be a plot by non-Westerners to keep us whities from ever getting to see The Black Buddha.) In any case, reading of their adventures, the same experience is shared by all. After meeting an Officially Licensed By The Thai Government Tuk Tuk Driver on one of the days the Grand Palace is closed, they are whisked off to see The Black Buddha before being provided the opportunity to participate in an Amazing One Day Only Government Sponsored Gem and Jewelry Sale, only to find upon arrival that The Black Buddha is not black. The Black Buddha is gold. He used to be black. But those damn sneaky Thais, in an attempt to keep The Black Buddha hidden from farang sight, have disguised him by covering The Black Buddha with layers of gold leaf.

You may think I’m being overly suspicious, that the idea of a worldwide plot to keep The Black Buddha away from the farang eyes is just a bit of my natural paranoia shining through. And yes, if you delve far enough into the sites returned by Google you will find the occasional report of The Black Buddha being seen by a farang. But those are always tales told by an European backpacker, a brand of traveller known to bathe infrequently. So you can understand when an Officially Licensed By The Thai Government Tuk Tuk Driver mistakenly thinks they are not white. But Google Images backs up my theory. Do a search on Black Buddha Temple Bangkok, and the pictures you’ll see are from about a dozen different Thai wats. None of which houses the real Black Buddha. Even Google doesn’t want you to see what the temple of The Black Buddha looks like.

Black Buddha

Lots of Black Buddhas, but none are The Black Buddha.

I love Thailand. But racism and bigotry needs to be stamped out wherever you find it. The practice of keeping white folk from seeing The Black Buddha has to stop. I urge you to write your congressman today. With your support I’m sure the American government can convince the leaders of Thailand to rectify this matter. And then on my next visit to Bangkok, before I add to my collection of Custom Made Suits Ready In One Hour and my purchases from an Amazing One Day Only Government Sponsored Gem and Jewelry Sale, I’ll finally be blessed with a visit to see Bangkok’s fabled Black Buddha.

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Ubiquitous Plastic Stool Shot! #30

08 Friday Mar 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in Bangkok, Travel Photography, Ubiquitous Plastic Stool Shot

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Bangkok, Photography

Odd man out?

Odd man out?

Yet another Ubiquitous Plastic Stool Shot! from Wen; it’s the most recent he sent in though my favorite I’ve yet to post. He didn’t say where this shot is from, but the grillwork on the window in the background looks like the Loha Prasat to me. He did, however, note that given the current situation in the US he loved the idea of blue Ubiquitous Plastic Stool states tripling up to screw the red one. My mind immediately went to the obvious threesome and the provocative position of the hold out in red, but that folded up canvas chair’s role escapes me. Something tells me one of y’all’s twisted little mind will provide that bit of info!

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Bonus Shot: Is That All There Is?

02 Saturday Mar 2013

Posted by Bangkokbois in Bangkok, Travel Photography

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Bangkok, Photography, Transportation

is that all there is

Dunno why I like this shot so much. Maybe because it sums up my feelings about the cheaper form of public transportation in Bangkok. From both ends of the age spectrum.

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