The Top Ten Bangkok Experiences: Part 2 – One Night In Bangkok

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars, Offs

For the gay first time visitor to Bangkok, your night should begin and end around Silom Soi 4.

I started writing this series of posts in response to a friend’s question of what he should do and see on his inaugural trip to Bangkok. Mistakenly, he’d turned to Google first, had a list of the Top Ten Bangkok Experiences, and wanted my opinion on the suggestions made by others. That Jim Thompson’s house was on his list told me he was in for a world of boredom. That the Damnoen Saduak floating market made it to his list too told me he’d be exhausted by the time his trip was over. Holidays are supposed to be about relaxation. You are not supposed to return in need of a holiday thanks to your holiday.

There is a lot to see and do in Bangkok. And even more to experience. Cramming your days and nights full of activities and places to be, while tempting, does not do the city justice. But with the right approach you can experience much of what Bangkok has to offer and still have energy to see and do more. I tend to hone in on the experience part of the equation, and then fill it in with places to visit. Doing, even when it means doing nothing, is preferable to seeing in my book. Seeing you can do just as easily at home by thumbing through a bunch of postcards.

Thai smiles and lots of lights both do their part in bringing Soi 4 to life.

My problem with my friend’s Googled list, besides too many sites that shouldn’t appear until you are doing a Top 50 list, is it failed to address the needs, or at last the interests of a gay man. Now believe it or not but not all gay touri to Bangkok have sex on their brain. Beyond the thoughts of sex that we always have on our brains. But despite that not being a touri’s primary interest, the fact is that Bangkok and sex go hand in hand. And preferably one of those hands will belong to someone else. Gay watering holes are numerous and conveniently located in Bangkok. And the city’s commercial sex scene is omnipresent. Whether you indulge to the point of a happy ending or not, it has to be a part of your holiday experience. The only danger for a first time visitor is that it can easily become your entire holiday experience.

Before you blow your wad in anticipation of what is to cum, a night out visiting the seamier side of Bangkok is my suggestion for your #2 Bangkok experience, and for a first timer it’s best to get this one under your belt on the night of your first full day in the city. Go get laid, of course, is the shortened version. My suggestion however provides a fuller experience and leaves it up to you whether or not you see your night through to fruition. Your evening starts with dinner. Pick any place by your hotel that looks enticing; I’ll have restaurant recommendations for you in later posts, but for this night what is important is filling your belly with food before you begin filling it with booze. It’s gonna be a late night and you are going to need sustenance to make it through to the early hours of the morning.

The Telephone Bar is a Bangkok landmark and one of the city’s sights you need to experience.

After your meal, head to Silom Soi 4. This narrow lane off the main drag is home to an ever-growing handful of gay pubs and shops that have been added to the original two establishments, the Balcony Bar and Telephone Pub. Some of the smaller bars can be fun too, but the main action is always at these two joints. Which sit directly across the street from each other. Grab an open seat at either, where you can sit and watch the parade of guys pass by. Both, btw, offer food on their menu. But I don’t suggest dining at either, at least not on your first full night in town. It’ll just get in the way of where you focus should be: on all the hotties parading about.

Order a drink, kick back, and if you are a gregarious type, you’ll quickly make new friends with other visitors sitting at tables around you. If you are by yourself, there’s a good chance you’ll also draw the attention of some young local stud. No matter how young or attractive you are, he’s a moneyboy. Which is Thai for prostitute. Ignore him. Politely. If you are following my advice your evening will be filled with prostitutes anyway. And you can always come back tomorrow night – he’ll be sitting there trying to land a customer again then. But do flirt with the waitstaff. Even if none of them are your type. Thailand is known as the land of smiles, and it’s time you get comfortable with hot young men beaming gloriously in your direction.

Patpong’s Night Market is more of a fish market, but still worth a short, if congested, stroll.

Next, head back out to Silom, hang a right, and walk down to the main entrance of the Patpong Night Market. But don’t buy anything. There will be better things to spend your money on this night. In amongst all the knock-off goods for sale and families of touri living life dangerously by visiting Bangkok’s red light district, there are still a few establishments left from the area’s heyday. They are for straight clientele, or lesbians, so you won’t be going into any of them. But the barkers out front will shove little white cards in your face listing all of the things that can be done with a vagina that straight guys think are sexy. On another night you may want to return to visit one of the bars just to see what that ping pong ball scene in The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert was really all about. Unless you are a member of PETA.

Patpong’s Night market is an experience in itself, but one that you can fully experience in about 15 minutes. Your destination tonight is its far end, Suriwong, where you’ll turn left and walk about two blocks down to Soi Thantawan, a small dark soi that opens on your left across from the Tawana Bangkok Hotel. The first bright lights you’ll see will be Tawan, one of Bangkok’s most famous gogo bars catering to gay guys. Especially to gay guys who like muscles. And you are going inside. Even if you don’t like the bodybuilder set.

Tawan is one of Bangkok’s oldest gay gogo bars and home to a stable of muscle studs.

If you are a fan of well-built guys, you’ll be in heaven. If not, it’s just as well. This is your first gogo bar experience and you’ll do better if the guys are not those of your dreams. A side benefit is that you, like many before you, may become a Thai aficionado and may eventually start participating on the gay Thailand message boards. When you do, you’ll actually have had experience at Tawan and can voice an informed opinion instead of just repeating rumors you’ve heard from others.

Tawan’s first show nightly starts around ten. You want to be there a bit before to get comfortable. And then enjoy the show. Whether you like muscle guys or not, Tawan still puts on one of the better shows in town. You’ll see lots of flesh. And lots of hard dick. Welcome to Bangkok baby! The guys who work there occasionally approach customers, but they are not pushy about it. So it’s a great gogo for first timers to wet their appetite at. Feel free to chat with them, feel them, and tip them accordingly. When the show is over, like with 90% of the other customers, it’s time for you to leave. Leave alone. If muscle studs are your thing, you can return after checking out the action on Soi Twilight. Which is your next destination.

Soi Twilight is Bangkok’s main drag for gay gogo bars.

To get to Twilight, walk back the way you came, past the Patpong Night Market, and look for the Family Mart on the opposite side of the street. Soi Twilight, well lit with neon, extends down off Suriwong at this corner. There are beer bars, open to the soi, and two restaurants where you can sit, grab a beer, and watch the action. Despite what the barkers will tell you, none of the bars have a show happening again until midnight.

You’ve got about an hour to kill. And there are plenty of bois to kill it with without entering any of the clubs. As the midnight hour approaches, pick a gogo bar and get ready for your second show of the night. The difference from what you experienced at Tawan is that the guys will not be as muscular, there will be fem boys on stage too. And this time you’re buying.

People watching, drooling over the guys, or shooting a game of pool are all fun pastimes on Soi Twilight.

Yeah, yeah, you don’t do prostitution. I’ve heard that before. But just like with escort services back home, you are not buying sex, you are buying companionship. And that is the point of tonight’s purchase. Even if it does end in sex. Which will be up to you. Pick out a boy who attracts you and who speaks passable English. You can refer to the First Timers Guide To Bangkok Gogo Bar posts in this blog to learn how to off a gogo boy and what that pleasure will cost you. But where those articles assume you will be immediately headed back to your hotel for some fun, for tonight you’re headed back over toward Silom Soi 4 for some dancing instead. With your new friend.

The reason I suggest hiring a companion for the final part of your evening is twofold. First, depending on when the two of you leave the bar he’ll know which club, DJ Station or G.O.D., you should be headed to and he’ll lead the way keeping you from getting lost. Second, though there are plenty of moneyboys and even the occasional freebee filling the clubs, walking in with a partner is always more fun. Even if you haven’t been in a disco or on a dance floor in decades, you’re in Bangkok and it’s time to party.

Getting up close and personal with a bar boy is what one night in Bangkok is all about.

Don’t worry that you don’t know the latest moves, the beat is the same as it was back when John Travolta was still a hottie, and you are probably white so no one expects you to not look ridiculous on the dance floor. Not that Asians fare any better. Gangnam Style is to dancing what William Hung was to singing. An added bonus to bringing a bar boy to the club with you is that he probably knows half the guys there, and you may quickly find yourself in the middle of a party.

Before you known it the lights in the bar will come up and your evening will be over. Even if most of the inhabitants of the city consider it now morning. If you decide to part ways with your new friend at the club, his tip should be the same as for any short-time off. Or you may decide to invite him back to your hotel for the sunrise, though it’ll probably be a moon that your eyes focus on instead. Either way you’ll have had an experience that you’ll remember for years to come. You can also consider waking up sometime in the early afternoon with the mother of all hangovers part of your experience too. But it’s all good. You’re in Bangkok baby! And tomorrow night you can do it all over again.

The experience of finding religion at G.O.D. in Bangkok: priceless.

The third of the Top Ten Bangkok experiences, which I’ll cover in the next post in this series, starts the next day, late enough for your head to have made its way back onto your shoulders. It will be much more gentle on your wallet, since you probably blew about $150 on this one (not counting dinner or transportation, but including a long-time off tip, and assuming you were not stupid enough to play pool for money with a local boy while visiting Soi Twilight). Unless you still haven’t sent the boy you offed from the bar back home yet.

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:

First Timers Guide To Bangkok Gay Gogo Bars

If It Walks Like A Duck: The What’s What Of Bangkok’s Gay Bar Scene

The Myth That Is Tawan

The Gay GoGo Bar Worlds Of Bangkok

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars

Gay bars in the U.S. are pretty much all the same. The decor may be different, the type of clientele may change from one bar to the next, some may have a backroom, but basically they are all the same; you know exactly what to expect when you enter regardless of which city or state you are in. The gay gogo bars in Bangkok too are more alike than they are different from each other. But there is a difference, possibly subtle enough that a first time visitor may not notice. That first timer who forms an opinion of what gay gogo bars in Bangkok have to offer off of a single visit to one bar may find it an erroneous one. And if he then decides to visit a different bar he may be pleasantly surprised, or equally disappointed or amazed, that the new bar has little to do with the one he first visited. While every bar in Bangkok catering to the touri crowd operates similarly and offers a similar product, there is a vast difference in how they do so.

There are, to my way of thinking, three types of gay gogo bars in Bangkok, scattered around the Patpong area. There are gogo bars that cater to the local crowd too, but those are far removed from the regular touri haunts and are not places most occasional visitors to Bangkok find themselves in. Most gay touri do however find themselves visiting the gogo bars around Silom. And if it is your first time, which bar you choose can make a big difference in how much fun you will have there.

The majority of bars are on Soi Twilight. They too differ slightly from one to the next, but the experience you have in any is similar to what you can expect from the others. Pricing for drinks and off fees may be slightly more or less depending on the bar, the stable of boys may or may not be to your liking if there is a specific type of guy you like, and the aggressiveness of the mamasans may be higher in one bar than another, but the basics are the same.

On Twilight each of the gogo bars has a stable of bar boys from fem to masculine with most offering at least one guy who is muscular. All put on two shows nightly between which the bar boys take turns rotating on stage in their underwear in groups. During the shows the guys perform in various states of undress (and hardness) moving from semi-nudity to nudity to full on sex acts. Some bars are larger than the others, some have a larger stable of bar boys, and some get a bit more raunchy. But they all basically offer the same product under the same entertainment format.

As do what I consider the second type of gogo bar in Bangkok. I call them specialty bars – there are only two. Tawan, about a four block walk from Soi Twilight down Suriwong, offers muscle boys. And across from Twilight and down a small soi is Jupiter, which tends to have taller, lighter-skinned bar boys. The kind of guys who make it in the modeling world in Bangkok. Or would have liked to but just didn’t quite make the cut. You usually pay a bit more for drink and off costs at the speciality bars, and while not necessarily true there is the belief that the guys at those bars expect larger tips too. The truth is the guys there usually do get larger tips but that in most cases is due to the customers believing the boys are worth a premium.

The third type of bar I call the sleaze joints, though I’m beginning to refer to the area where they are located as Little Pattaya. Their numbers are quickly dwindling, but this small scattering of bars can be found just a bit further along the soi where Tawan is located. They are small, cheap, dingy places where pretty much anything goes. Drinks, off fees, and acceptable tips are all cheaper in these places than in the other bars around Silom because the boys are too. They don’t really have shows unless you consider the sight of a 65-year-old fat farang customer getting blown a show.

Screwboys is a world unto itself, a conglomeration of both the standard gogo bars on Soi Twilight and, though larger, the sleaze bars of Little Pattaya. Being located within the official boundaries of Patpong, it can be, and often is, open past the mandatory closing time of the other bars. It’s been known to have shows, but that is often dependent upon how many customers the bar has.

No one type of bar is better than the others, every type has their fans. For a newbie to Bangkok’s gay gogo bar world, your best bet is to try them all. Several times.

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Down The Up Staircase

Customer Serviced

The Myth That Is Tawan

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere

Tags

Gay GoGo Bars

The way to a man’s heart is not in fact through his stomach.

“I lie you.”

As well-used as a come-on as that popular Thai bar boy phrase is, on a scale of 1 to 10 in believability it rates around a -20.

“You hansum man!”

There’s a reason those platitudes whispered in your ear are called sweet nothings. Because there is nothing in the world that’d convince you that anyone would still consider your tired looking ass the least bit attractive, much less handsome. Even as much as you’d like to believe that study little devil thinks you’re okay looking, the mirror on the wall of the bar proves otherwise. Unless you have blinders on. Which should be passed out in Thailand’s gay gogo bars just as readily as 3D glasses are at the movie theaters these days.

Flattery, as insincere as it is, is the stock in trade of bar boys trolling for their night’s meal ticket. It’s difficult to believe that even they expect the aging farang they’re cooing at to take their comments seriously. Or so you’d think. The results say differently. The smiles on the faces of those who have just been told how handsome, strong, and desirable they are would lead you to believe ‘I lie you’ must be the gods’ honest truth.

Are we really that pathetic that we’d believe the adoring crap bar boys try to feed us? Are the customers at Thailand gay gogo bars so delusional they really think those young studs find them attractive? Do they have such a slim grasp on reality that insincere flattery actually works?

But he said I was a handsome man!

Yup, smells like science to me.
‘Cuz it can’t be the bullshit the bar boys are shovelling out that’s responsible for that odor.

Despite already knowing the answer, women all over the world routinely turn to their mates for affirmation of what they don’t really believe themselves. And the men of the world know that unless they are interested in a divorce or having their dick cut off in the middle of the night the only acceptable answer is, “No honey, those pants don’t make your ass look fat.” Even while they are thinking, “Levi Strauss is not to blame for your gargantuan backside, the fault for that lays squarely on the shoulders of all that Haagen Dazs you’ve been grazing on.” As nice as it would be to think only women with their inferior intellect are suspectable to insincere compliments, men too are more than willing to believe the unbelievable when it paints them in a good light. Or allows them to think that hot young thang is gonna actually enjoy what they’re about to put him through.

We do, however, tend to discount those compliments when we know the person flattering us is after something. Ulterior motives are always suspicious. Though we may be vain, we are not stupid. But according to research done by professors of marketing Elaine Chan and Jaideep Sengupta at the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology, it’s not vanity that makes us an easy mark. It’s that we are needy. Their study shows that being driven by the need for validation, even though we may consciously discount blatantly insincere compliments, our unconscious mind laps that crap up. They say most people prefer any form of recognition over no recognition at all.

Cha-Ching!

Safe sex in a gogo bar isn’t always about using a condom.

Conducting a trio of studies, the professors examined how flattery affects our decision-making. In their primary study, participants were shown a flyer from a clothing store that complimented them for being stylish and chic. Participants knew perfectly well the compliment wasn’t aimed specifically at them, and the ulterior motive was plain – the leaflet contained a message asking them to shop at the store. There was nothing subtle about the attempt to flatter, much like a bar boy cooing in your ear, the obviousness was way over the top.

On a conscious level, the participants discounted the value of the compliment because of its ulterior motive. However, the results showed that even after discounting, the initial positive reaction to the flattering message dis not get wiped out; instead, it coexisted with the discounted evaluation; even when participants were consciously aware of the fact they were being flattered insincerely. In the study, participants still chose the store that complimented them over a business that did not. Maybe Van Gogh had it right but just didn’t go far enough. Chan and Sengupta’s findings suggest that flattery has an insidious ability to pierce through the conscious mind and into the unconscious, where it creates persistent feelings that could affect the outcome of all kinds of activities. Some of which could be detrimental to the health of your wallet.

In the third part of their study, the professors wanted to determine if some people are more suspectable to bullshit than others. Big surprise, some are: the more needy among us. Using a fresh batch of participants they divided the group into thirds. Prior to showing them the same flyer filled with insincere flattery, they had 1/3 of the group write out all the good things they could think about themselves, an affirmation of their positive attributes. Another third of the group were asked to write down a list of their negative personality traits, and the remainder were just given the flyer, to act as a test group. The results of that study showed those who had thought nice things about themselves were the least likely to be persuaded by insincere flattery, while those who had just dwelled on their negative traits fell for the bull hook, line, and sinker.

I feel pretty, oh so pretty!

Even the most hardened heart, clogged by a diet of fatty fried foods, can’t help but be swayed by the sweet compliments Thai bar boys pass out with abandon. That doesn’t mean your wallet has to suffer the insidious effects of insincere flattery. Sure taking a shower and changing out of your soiled, too tight T-shirt before heading off to a night at the gogo bars will help increase your chances of scoring one of the hotter working guys, but the work done by Chan and Sengupta suggests you’d be much better off by thinking a few good thoughts about yourself first. For some, trying to come up with those affirmations, however, might be a problem.

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First Timers Guide To Bangkok Gay Gogo Bars (Part X)

Tags

Gay GoGo Bars, Gay Thailand, Offs

The savvy sex touri knows how to squeeze the last drop out of his time with a bar boy. Or as they like to think of it: getting full value out of money spent.

If you’ve been following this First Timers Guide To Bangkok Gay Gogo Bars series of posts, then by now you’re probably not really a newbie to the world of Bangkok’s gay gogo bars any longer. You’ve already popped your gogo bar cherry and know how to enjoy yourself at a bar without making an ass out of yourself, know what to expect when you get a bar boy back to your room – and how not to be disappointed when you don’t get what you expected – and have learned the low-maintenance life-style of being a butterfly. Hopefully, you’ve also learned how to not be a cheap ass. But learning and putting that knowledge into practice are two entirely different things. When your soul and your wallet are interconnected, not coming across as kee ngok just ain’t gonna happen. But then there are worse things in life. You could instead be considered by the boys to have a big heart.

As often as I have railed against the cheap asses of the bar world, mine is a voice lost in the wilderness. Read the gay Thailand message boards and you’ll quickly realize mine is the dissenting opinion. Sure that’s more about Pattaya where pinching a penny is considered an obligatory touri activity, but nonetheless the fact remains there is a large majority of punters out there whose ideal orgasm greatly depends on how cheaply they can score. Value is based on how much you can get for how little it can cost you. To them it’s not about the bar boys, their lives, goals, and desires. It’s about their wallets and being serviced. And I get that. I’m a big fan of the It’s All About Me generation too.

I’ve ignored punters’ complaints about the dire straits of their home country’s currency and economy, the rising costs of international travel, and the plight of sexpats who retired to Pattaya on an income that leaves them living below the poverty line as a whining of a bunch of losers for whom life is all about complaining. I should have realized that having chosen Thailand as the only place on earth where they could afford to pay for the sex that would otherwise elude them, costs play an important role. And it’s not just about how cheaply they can get an orgasm (LMTU would gladly blow them for free with the expense being nothing more than a visit to the nearest public loo). It’s about getting value for the small handful of baht they fork over to their boy du jour. I know, being known as the considerate, loving, kindhearted person that I am, you wouldn’t expect me to so brazenly ignore the plight of Thailand’s cheap bastards. So I’ll rectify that matter with these tips on how to squeeze the last satang of value out of a bar boy:

Milk is good for everybody, so milking your bar boy dry has gotta be good for him too.

1. What Goes Up.
Value isn’t about cost as much as it is about how much you receive for the money you spend. Or how often you receive it. Planned correctly your time with a bar boy does not have to follow that old adage of what goes up must come down. He may base his off on a per-orgasm basis but that doesn’t mean you have to too. If one go-round costs you 600 baht, squeezing in three orgasms during your time together means it’s only costing you 200 baht per spurt.

That’s not as selfish and one-sided ass it sounds. Your boy too can benefit. He spent some of his hard earned baht on a little blue ;pill so that he could look like he was enjoying your ugly ass. Forcing multiple orgasms out of him means he gets more value out the cost of that pill too, even if it is about keeping him hard and useful for your benefit. Mother Teresa should have been as thoughtful.

2. There’s Value In His Other Head Too.
As tired as you may be from squeezing three orgasms out of a cheap, short-time off, just sending your boy off into the night afterward is like leaving money on the table. There’s still gold in them there hills and to get full value from that generous 600 baht tip you paid him, you’d better be ready to mine for it. Your bar boy is sitting on a wealth of information. It’s time to drain him dry. He can tell you which of his bar mates hasn’t been offed in weeks and will be willing to do you for 300 baht. He knows which of the boys in the bar also solicit customers on Gay Romeo, which means you can get the boy cheaper and avoid an off fee too. He also knows which boys won’t do everything, or anything for that matter, and can save you from spending your money on a dud in the future. Feel free to grill him on his fellow bar boys. If it means he won’t have to deal with you as a customer ever again, he’ll probably be willing to share that knowledge with you.

3. Milking Him For All He’s Worth.
Cheap bastards hate paying for a long-time off; after all, you can get a bottle of gin for what those extra hours with a boy will cost you. Sexpats don’t want to give up the time they’d otherwise spend bitching about bar boys on the gay Thailand message boards either. But visitors can benefit greatly from a long-time off. For just a few hundred baht more you get lots of sex and tons of hidden values too.

Your bar boy’s English may suck, even if he refuses to. But then your command of the Thai language is even worse. Using your boy du jour as a translator can make your time in Thailand much easier. You won’t even have to learn those few simple Thai phrases touri who mistakenly think they need to be polite rely on. Whether it’s ordering a meal or arguing with the hotel staff over being charged a joiner fee, using your bar boy as a translator can pay great dividends. Used wisely as such you can easily recoup the paltry sum you paid to him as a tip.

As the paying customer there’s no good reason to not make your bar boy bend over backwards to please you.

Even the most hardened sex tourist tends to spend a bit of time seeing the sights when visiting the Kingdom. Your boy du jour can make an excellent tour guide too. Not that he will know of or be interested in the places you want to visit, but he will be able to communicate your desires to your taxi driver. And if you really want to save some baht he’ll know which bus is the cheapest one to take too. If you’re sly about it, you can have your boy purchase admission tickets for both of you too, getting your entrance fee at the lower price offered to Thais.

Tell your boy du jour you need to go shopping and he’ll get hard quicker than that little blue pill ever managed to make him. After you reap that benefit, you can actually hit a mall or market. When shopping, Thais always get better prices than rich farang do. You can use your boy to barter for a discount. Just keep him thinking that the money he saves you will be spent on a new iPhone for him and you’ll be amazed at how quickly those savings add up. Hell, with the money he saves you through haggling you can even afford to pick up an additional boy. And everybody loves a twofer.

There’s also money to be saved by expense avoidance. Bar boys love to go to the airport to see their Farangs off. Most assume the pockets full of baht you haven’t spent will be worthless to you and you’ll hand it over to them instead of it going to waste. That just proves that bar boys are as naive as first time visiting farang. You can use that to your benefit. You won’t have to tip the bell hop at the hotel by using your boy as a porter instead. He’s young and running up and down four flights of stairs to bring all of the suitcases you thought you needed to travel with is good exercise for him. Don’t be afraid to make him carry you down to the lobby either – it’s all part of the service and bar boys love nothing more than the opportunity of taking care of you. And while it won’t result in a direct monetary savings, once at the airport there’s no reason for you to stand in long lines when you can use your boy to save your place in line for you. That’ll give you the opportunity to find something to buy with the remaining baht your bar boy thought would soon be his.

Don’t worry if seeing to your every need causes your bar boy a bit of anguish. That’s how you build character. He’ll thank you for it one day.

4. You Can’t Squeeze Blood Out Of A Turnip, But . . .
That doesn’t man you shouldn’t drain your bar boy dry. As needy as they are it’s easy to make promises that will keep them attached to you for as long as you want to string them along. And that doesn’t have to end just because your holiday in Thailand did. Holding out the promise of a future together will guarantee an endless supply of email and text messages filled with expressions of the boy’s love for you. It doesn’t take much effort to ensure those messages come with lots of photos of your favorite part of your boy either. You can get years of pleasure out of a single extended off without it ever costing you another dime. Add those self-inflicted times of joy to your total and it can easily mean paying less than 80 baht per orgasm. Now we’re talking!

If you do decide to make further cash deposits between trips, consider that it’s not only the joy of cheap sex that can be yours. You can also finally have an official boyfriend. And you can satisfy other emotional needs too. Sure, some fools get the stroking their egos need by sponsoring a hungry child in Africa for just five cents a day. But for that same outlay of coin you can do better with what is now your boyfriend. You can not only demand that he remain chaste and true to you between your twice a year trips to Thailand, but you can cause him great emotional pain when you bust him by calling at odd hours to check up on where he is and what he’s doing. Your sexpat friends stuck in Pattaya only get that kind of fun by making fun of their fellow destitute retirees. And they’ll all be jealous of you when you parade your boy special around Sunee Plaza, or have him sit quietly while you and your cronies spend countless hours together nursing a beer during your night out on the town together. Best yet, the cost of your boy is but a fraction of what Paris Hilton had to pay for the scrawny mut she adopted as a BFF. And she didn’t get the bonus of sex out of it. I think.

The fact is if you send your boy a small monthly stipend – about what you would otherwise spend to have your car washed monthly – that’s big money in Thailand. And you now own him. Slavery may be dead, but sex slavery is alive and well. And surprisingly affordable too. Remember that ownership has benefits above renting. Just think of the fun you can have next time you’re in Pattaya and can force your boy special to undergo humiliating drug and STD tests (not that you’d waste money on tests done by medical professionals – there are cheap home-tests you can buy. Ask any of your sexpat friends, they know where you can purchase those at the best price).

It’s surprisingly how little it costs to bind your boy to you. Even if BD isn’t your thing, there’s value in owning another human being.

Not that it’s all about you. You are in a relationship now after all. You can see to your boy’s needs by helping him improve himself too. For example, while you are back in your home country you can force him to take English classes so that he’ll be better able to understand you during your future trips to Thailand. Which will increase his value to you as a companion, translator, tour guide, and negotiator. Win-win. That’s what life is all about.

And finally, if you are savvy, all of that money you spent on your boy will not go to waste when you find a new boy younger and more desperate to take advantage of in his place. Like others before you, once the romance is over there’s still value in your relationship. You can use those naughty pictures you’ve demanded he pose for over the years to pimp him out on-line to unsuspecting first-time visitors to Pattaya too. A paid-for relationship with a Thai bar boy is truly a gift that keeps giving. As long as you are willing to take what is rightfully yours.

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:

Gay Gogo Bar First Timers Guide Part VIII

Gay Gogo Bar First Timers Guide Part IX

Gay Gogo Bar First Timers Guide Part VI

I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy: That Crazy Little Thing

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars, Offs

Surprisingly, I get a lot of comments posted to this blog that include a note asking that the comment not be published. That wouldn’t be so if I published an email addy to use, but the result would be the same: lots of private communication, questions and comments readers for one reason or another don’t want made public. That’s cool. I’m just amazed that anyone who has read this blog for any amount of time would actually trust me to keep their private comments private. I don’t exactly have a stellar track record for being discreet.

Not surprisingly, most of those comments are about Noom – my bar boy friend and current love of my life – and our relationship. Many are from readers who are or who have been in similar relationships with Thai guys. They tend to explain their relationship and comment on how familiar my tales are to them. Even when they don’t name names, I understand why they do not want their comments made public. Not everyone wants their private life published for the world to see. Even when it is done anonymously. Still, it’s a shame those stories never see the light of day; there are a lot more positive and successful Farang/Thai relationships out there than you’d expect considering how you only here about the doomed ones elsewhere.

The second most popular theme in the private comments I get are well-intended messages questioning my sanity. I appreciate that those reader want to keep their comments private too. While they are usually polite and come from a good place, the you-should-never-trust-a-bar-boy train of thought gets plenty of airing elsewhere. As for me wearing rose colored glasses, I think if you read through the bulk of my I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy posts you’d see that isn’t a valid concern. I probably question Noom’s motives more than what should be healthy for our relationship. But then so does he.

Even those comments that question our relationship and the wisdom of becoming involved with a Thai bar boy almost always include and exemption for Noom. Part of that, I have to assume, is that people are generally polite and don’t want to unnecessarily dump on someone’s relationship. Not that that makes a lot of sense. There is little logic in saying, “Beware of bar boys,” coupled with, “You really need to be careful,” followed by, “Well, except for Noom.” Huh. That message is a bit muddled. Which is why I personally try to avoid being polite as much as possible. Regardless, I appreciate the attempt and concern. And appreciate even more that in telling these tales I must have managed to portray Noom as the wonderfully exceptional man that he is. Readers tend to want to idolize him even though he is a money-grubbing not to be trusted bar boy. And so do I.

I also get a lot of private comments either from those currently trying to find their way through a similar relationship, and/or those who are open to becoming involved in a similar relationship who have a million questions about the necessary balance between caution and going for it with all your heart and soul. Those are the more difficult comments to answer. I can speak from my experiences with Noom. But that doesn’t mean the guy someone else is involved with will react the same or that he has the same motives. Whether it is Thai bar boys – or any other group of people – making generalized statements that supposedly cover the entire group never works. There are always exceptions to the rule; you are dealing with an individual, not a group.

There are cultural issues that (almost) all Thais share, many of which I’ve attempted to highlight in these tales. And while you should be aware of them – or more precisely aware of the differences between your culture and Thai culture – above all the best generalized advice I can give about being in a relationship with a bar boy is to remember he is an individual first. Focus on what it is/was that attracted you to him in the first place (besides the sex), not on all the stuff you’ve heard about bar boys. ‘Cuz you’ll be surprised how little of that crap ever surfaces.

Most of the comments I get on these tales – both positive and unintentionally negative – dwell far too much on the issue of love. But that’s human nature. Pop music wouldn’t be the billion dollar industry it is if people were not so wrapped up in the L word. You’d think with all the people either pursuing love as a goal, busily trying to hold on to the love they found, or trying their damnedest to get over the love they lost that it wouldn’t be such an abstract emotion. But then if love was that cut and dried Adele would just be another fat, white chick from England instead of the popular chantreuse she is. It’s kinda sad Babs stole her thunder at the Academy Awards, but then ugly female singers have always held a monopoly on love songs. It’s interesting that while so many people want to be in love, or at least to be loved, the closest love song any one has come up with that best reflects reality is one of R.E.M.’s most popular tunes.

But then a love song belted out by either Noom or I would put a quick end to that genre. It’s not that some things are best left unsaid, but rather best left unsung by some. What that song would be would be the major question in any case. Love, as popular as it is, is difficult to define. Even when it isn’t expressed in song. For being such an important aspect in everyone’s life, the word itself just doesn’t measure up. It isn’t specific enough for its purpose, it’s too generalized and covers too many different emotions and too many different things. I love my dog, but not in the way opponents to legalizing same-sex marriage would have you believe. I love my mom, but that whole Oedipus Rex thing just never made sense to me. I love apple pie, but . . . okay maybe that’s not a good example.

The point is it’s too easy to read your idea of love into my love for and with Noom. That’s my fault. The title of this series of posts itself rubs some the wrong way while painting an untrue picture for those who focus on the positive attributes of Cupid (forgetting that that little fat bastard is armed and dangerous). And it doesn’t help that I introduce Noom into each of these tales as ‘my bar boy friend and current love of my life.’ Each of these stories is intended to stand alone. I thought that phrase summed up who and what Noom is, quickly, so anyone reading one of these posts would instantly understand the dynamic of our relationship. Silly me. That’s what I get for being facetious. I shoulda know better than to use the L word in such a frivolous manner.

So a lot of the private comments I get center on love; the curious question the future of our relationship, those trying to make sense of that relationship wonder about its details, those attempting to define what it is that we share question if it is love, lust, or simple infatuation. Not that I haven’t wondered about all those things myself. There is no question that I love Noom. Nor is there any question that he is a bright, shining point of goodness in my life. I am happy when I’m with him. And when I’m not, thinking about him makes me happy too. He is not, however, The Great Love of my life. At least not yet. Who knows what the future may bring. Ours is not an all-encompassing love; Romeo and Juliet can rest easy. Which is probably a good thing ‘cuz that tale set in Thailand would end with one of the two leaping from a balcony.

While I shudder at the thought of placing myself in the role of the fish, Juliet found a much better use for her balcony than the flying farang of Thailand have in questioning, “What’s Montague?” Her observation that a rose is a rose by any other name can be applied to Noom too; that he is a bar boy should be of no more importance than Romeo being a Montague. That seems to be a major issue for some in coming to terms with our love affair. I often get comments worried that I may be losing sight of that little fact. “He’s a bar boy!” (which is a nicer way of saying, “Yo dude! He makes his living having sex with any guy willing to slip him a few thousand baht!”) is a common warning. Yeah, I know. But he’s also Noom.

Maybe it would be less of an issue if I only identified Noom in these tales as ‘my bar boy friend’ (ignoring for the moment how often y’all couple boy and friend and ignore that all important space between the two words). Following its popularity thanks to Facebook, it might be better if I titled these posts instead as ‘I Fell In Like With A Bar Boy’. Either or both would remove the L word from the equation and would help avoid readers from assigning their own definition of love to what Noom and I share. But I don’t think ‘like’ – while less confrontational – cuts it either. Instead I’ll keep using the L word and let you define it as you see fit. Just stay away from Chris Brown and Rihanna’s version, okay?

I can’t define what love is and what it isn’t any better than you, even when it comes to what Noom and I share. It’s a crazy little thing that works, regardless of how it’s defined. So don’t get too caught up in applying the L word to what we have. I still like, prefer, and will continue to label these posts with I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy. But the most important word in my phrase ‘my bar boy friend and current love of my life’ is the one infrequently honed in on: friend. Love may be grand, but it is our friendship that means the most to me; I love that we are first and foremost friends. The rest is just a happy bonus.

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:

I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy: Three-way

I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy: Lounge Act

I Fell In Love With A Bar Boy: Short Hairs

Gay Bangkok Eyes

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars

Neon tells Soi Twilight’s story, you get to guess the year.

I’ve occasionally linked to articles from Stickman’s weekly column even though the Stick covers the breeder version of Bangkok and seldom mentions gay venues. Unless you consider ladyboys gay. His site is listed on my blog roll too. I’ve always enjoyed his photography and while the minutia of the straight gogo bar scene in Bangkok doesn’t do much for me, the occasional overview of that world is still of interest. If for no better reason than to see how pricey it is to get laid when only one dick is involved.

But my interest in Thailand has always been about more than just satisfying an itch, no matter how frequently I may scratch it. Stickman often writes about events beyond the bar world of general interest as well as covering places to go and things to do in and around Bangkok. His column is a great addition for those looking for news and information about Bangkok. Even when he writes about Patpong it’s still of interest to me; it’s difficult to spend much time on Soi Twilight and/or Soi 4 without touching on Patpong 1 & 2 so those areas are still familiar though not where my main focus lays. As nice as it is having Stickman’s column to discover more about the Kingdom, I’d be just as happy having a site to visit that ignores the rest and just covers Bangkok’s bar world. The gay one.

A once familiar spot in Patpong. Gone now, not forgotten, but then not missed much either.

It’s a shame there is no Bangkok-based pundit specifically covering the gay bar scene. A few guys occasionally post on the message boards but seldom in detail. There are never pictures and descriptions of nights out at best include useless comments like, “Classic Boys has the cutest guys on Soi Twilight.” That leads those not in the know to think Classic is the hot spot, the place to visit. When what it really means is that particular punter likes ugly little scrawny kids who couldn’t land a job at any of the better bars on the soi. And when something big happens in town – like the Red Shirts decide to take over the downtown area for a massive barbecue for a few weeks, or mother nature decides the city needs a good washing from the ground up – there is no record from a gay man’s perspective, there is no insight into how whatever is going on impacts the areas we tend to flock to.

I’m not in Thailand often enough to serve that need. Being on holiday when I am, it’s more about me enjoying myself than about hitting every bar in town to provide an update on what’s hot and what’s not, even though when I do those articles are always the most read on this blog (except for the worldwide interest in Channing Tatum’s penis). Boo Hoo makes an attempt, as scandalous as it is for his soul to do so, but his perspective is about standing outside the window looking in. The result, while more detailed, is even more useless than the ‘Classic Boys has the cutest guys on Soi Twilight’ type of comment found on the boards. And just as misleading. Shameless Mac once covered the massage scene and occasionally the bars on a regular basis though his blog is no longer with us. Its popularity proved there is a need for a regularly published internet site dealing with Bangkok’s gay establishments. There are a lot of us who don’t live in Thailand who still want to stay in touch in between visits.

Silom Soi 4 has been the temporary home to many small bars, restaurants, and bistros.

Which brings me to William R. Morledge’s Bangkok Eyes website and its monthly Midnite Hour review of Bangkok’s night scene. Like Stickman’s Weekly, Bangkok Eyes is a website for our straight brethren. Unlike the Stick he includes info on both Soi 4 and Soi Twilight. It’s not heavy on detail, but he does cover bar openings and closings and includes photos of the venues. And like the Stick, when something big happens in town – whether it’s another anniversary of the King or a series of bombings to ring in the new year – he covers those events too. Usually from the perspective of the night owl and bar crawler.

The monthly Midnite Hour column is heavy on photos with lots of pix of neon signs. Those of street scenes in and around Bangkok’s more famous entertainment districts are often as familiar to me as they probably are to breeders. Funny how a picture of a small, dark, congested soi of little fame can bring a smile to my face for no better reason than its familiarity. I’m not sure how it fits in with the rest of the column, but there is regular coverage of graffiti (as art) too, which, personally, I like all most as much as neon. Go figure.

Instantly identifiable soi, at least to me. And the Ubiquitous Plastic Stools ain’t bad either.

Bangkok Eyes has been covering Bangkok’s bar scene since 2001. Soi Twilight began making its regular appearance on the site in 2006 (Soi 4 even before that, but since it took me awhile to figure out that’s what is referred to as Soi Katoey on the site it didn’t click at first). The old Twilight Bar was around way before 2006, but it was the soi’s growth into a full blown entertainment area that caught Bangkok Eyes’ attention that year, covered in an article you may find of interest called The Twilight Zone: Gay Bar Area Hits Critical Mass.

I first ran across the site some time ago when I was trying to pin down the name of the bar my friend Dave and I used to hang out at in Patpong when we first started visiting Bangkok back in the ‘90s. The monthly column incudes a historical look at the city’s entertainment nightlife from 10 to 15 years ago, so even though its archives of columns only goes back a dozen years, there’s info from decades before that too. It’s that historical record that got me thinking about the need for a similar site for the rainbow crowd.

Bangkok Massage’s upscale exterior once livened up Soi Twilight.

Even as scant as Bangkok Eyes’ coverage of the gay scene is, perusing the site’s archives brought up photos of several bars that I’d forgotten about, a few almost as soon as they had closed. I enjoyed looking through the pictures of the changing scene on Soi Twilight and Silom Soi 4 too. It’s nice to have a photographic record somewhere on-line that tickles long forgotten memories of enjoyable visits to Bangkok from trips so long ago they are but a blur lost amidst memories from more recent visits. Remember the upstairs Tom Boy gogo bar on Soi 4? Yeah, I didn’t either until I saw a photo of it on the Bangkok Eyes’ website.

Even Stickman doesn’t look backward often, so Bangkok Eyes has that niche to itself and goes as far as taking a specific look at the history of Bangkok’s bar world in special articles like this one on the history of ladyboy bars in Nana from March of last year. There has been an article about the mor popular hotels from the Vietnam era too (which for the record was before my time). An article from 2008 reviews the history of nudity in Bangkok Bars, and several from the Thaskin era reminds you of the morale brigade crackdown of those days too.

Bangkok Eyes is also home to some cool graffiti pix.

As enjoyable as using the site to refresh memories is, I will make it a point to read the column monthly from now on too; seeing the changes Soi Twilight is going through – either yet again or still – keeps me in touch with on of my favorite spots in Bangkok and gets me excited to be planning my next visit too.

For the current column of Bangkok Eyes, click here. Their list of archives are at the bottom of the page.

Back in 2007 Screwboys tried a stab at Soi Twilight where Fresh Boys is and was before moving back across the street. The $BM Disco never caught on either.

Twilight became the New Twilight which became Hot Male and briefly took over next door.

Signage from the distant pass.

. . . and I remember offing a guy from here too.

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The Arrival: An Ode To Don Muang, Circa 1986

Down The Up Staircase

The Twilight Of Soi Pratuchai

Off Premise Offs

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars, Offs

Are off fees charged outside of hook-ups arranged at the bar just another form of extortion?

There isn’t much argument about owing the gogo bar an off fee when you decide to take a hottie home with you. You may decide to argue about how much that fee should be, but that you owe it is a given; it is one of the ways that bars makes money, by pimping out their staff. There is a good deal of arguing, however, about whether or not you owe a bar an off fee when you hook up with a bar boy outside of the normal manner. Some of those arguments make sense. But most of those arguments are not about what is fair, but rather about some cheap bastard trying to save a few cents. It’s probably not surprising that the majority of punters who feel they don’t owe a bar their rightful cut frequent Pattaya. It seems for many of Pattaya fans it’s not about how hot the boy is, or how much fun they may end up having with him, but rather about how cheaply than can get away with an orgasm.

Some bars have tried to ban the use of cell phones in an effort to alleviate the problem of a customer getting a bar boy’s cell phone number to arrange a hook-up later, after the bar closes, and thereby avoid having to pay an off fee. Of course the cheap bastards who pull that trick whine and moan that the bar has no right to prohibit them from making friends with its staff. They are adept at coming up with justifications that will allow them to stiff the bar over the stiffy they hope to have, but despite their protestations, it’s evident that what they are really up to is despicable behavior. The same goes for those who wait for the bar to close and then hit up a bar boy on his way home. I’m surprised I’ve not yet heard someone brag about following a boy and his short-time off to snag the guy after he finishes with his customer and before he gets back to his bar. But then now that I’ve mentioned it, I’m sure some skinflint in Pattaya will be trying that one soon.

If you feel there is a question about whether or not you owe a bar its off fee, and your motivation in that scenario is to save a few hundred baht, you’re wrong. And pond scum. Motivation plays a big part in answering the question, and yours is reprehensible. Not that knowing that will stop you from trying or stop you from coming up with reasons to justify your behavior. On the other hand, there are times when it is questionable whether you should be paying money to the bar or not. The answer may or may not seem fair. But you have to be honest in making that determination. Because in many cases, it’s up to you. And the karma points you’re racking up.

Someone has to pay for all that neon.

Years ago on my first night in town I dropped by Tawan to check out the action. One of the guys I’d offed several times before was working that night, and not surprisingly wanted me to take him back to my hotel with me. Unusual for me, I was tired from the flight and just wanted to get a good night’s sleep. Alone. But I told him where I was staying and suggested he could stop by the next afternoon. That was cool with him. And he immediately went over to the mamasan to report the scheduled rendezvous so that the mamasan could add an off fee to my bill. Rightly so. If you meet a boy at a bar and arranged for time with him – regardless of whether or not it is during his regular working hours – you owe the off fee. Period.

Of course the cheap bastards disagree and like to use the justification that the bar does not own the boy, that he does not work for the bar 24/7. That may be true, but I can think of thousands of jobs for which continued employment depends on your behavior outside of working hours. And in none of those positions does the issue of ‘owning’ the employee come up. That’s a false argument. As good as it may sound to your wallet.

Yes, bar owners are pimps. But you can think of them the same as being an agent in Hollywood. Agents rep their talent and get a cut for doing so. If a celebrity lands a gig outside of using the agent who represents them, the agent still gets his cut. The only difference between an agent an a gogo bar owner is the type of talent they represent. Or on second thought, maybe it’s not that different after all. And if you can’t get your head around the idea of a bar owner being like an agent, you can run with the idea of him being a pimp. What do you think would happen if a working girl failed to give her pimp his cut just because she hooked a john outside of her normal working hours?

Doesn’t ‘no cheating’ apply to customers too?

Over the years that same bar boy from Tawan and I developed a friendship. We often got together when I was in town for non-sexual activities; we enjoyed each other’s company even when sex was not involved. While being the rich farang meant that I paid for any expenses during those times together, I never tipped him. Nor did I pay an off fee to his bar. We never arranged those times at his bar and only got together during the early afternoons when he was not working. No problem. On the occasions when we did get together for sex, I did tip him. That’s how he earned his living and it was only fair of me to do so. And whether or not we arranged for those times while at his bar or not, I paid an off fee to his bar too.

Oh, calm down. That doesn’t mean under similar circumstances you have to too. It’s not an automatic must. At least not in an on-going friendship that does not take a bar boy away from his work. My decision to do so was for two reasons. First, I’m not unknown at Tawan and walking in to pay an off fee for a tryst earlier that day always resulted in a major boost to my rep. And usually a free drink as a thank you too. The bar loves me and so do the guys working there. Maybe that’s why I’ve never experienced the problems with Tawan guys that others say they have. More importantly doing so avoided any problems in case the bar owner, manager, or one of the mamasans ever happened to spot the two of us together. Doing so also did wonders for his value as an employee. And we’re only talking twelve bucks anyway.

Same same but slightly different is my relationship with Noom. He’s at a point in his career that he could easily tell his bar he’s taking a few weeks off when I hit town. That would save me a ton of cash in off fees. But it wouldn’t be very honest. Your wallet shouldn’t always take priority.

Do you owe the bar an off fee when you hook up with a bar boy on-line?

On the other hand, I hooked up with a guy off of Gay Romeo once, after messaging and emailing each other for several weeks. It wasn’t until we met in person that he mentioned he worked at one of the bars. We got together several nights during that visit. I never went to his bar. And I never paid an off fee either, even though our times together were during his normal working hours. The difference, in my estimation, was that I did not meet him through his bar and we’d set up our meeting without my knowing he worked at a bar. I’d take the same approach if I met a guy walking down the street in Bangkok. Unless I recognized him as a bar boy I’d previously seen working at one of the bars.

With more and more bar boys turning to the internet to find customers these days, the already fuzzy line between when you do and don’t owe a bar an off fee gets even further blurred. But it is more of a quandary for the boys, or maybe for bar owners. Most punters using the ‘net may be doing so to avoid paying the prices for offing a guy from a bar, but seldom is it specifically to avoid paying an off fee. And rarely is it to avoid paying an off fee that they know is rightly due. If you run across a profile that you know belongs to a bar boy, are you obligated to pay an off fee is you hook-up with him? Probably not. Unless he asks you to come to his bar to off him. As with any other type of off premise hook-up, it’s your call. Hopefully, you’ll do what is right and not just what saves you a few bucks.

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:

Gay Gogo Bar First Timers Guide Part 2b

Pimp My Room: Joiner Fees In Thailand

Gay Gogo Bar First Timers Guide Part 4

Off. What?

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars, Offs

In the world of Thailand’s gay gogo bars, offing a bar boy means that you are taking him away from the bar. What the two for you then do together is not of the bar’s concern, as obvious as what you will be doing may be. That’s how gogo bars avoid the issue of prostitution. It’s really no different than how escort agencies get away with the same trick back in the U.S. It’s about companionship between two adults, not sex. Wink, wink. Since there have been quite a few questions about the process and fees involved recently – most of which I hope I answered in yesterday’s post – I thought a brief (for me) explanation of the historical basis of offing a bar boy might be in order since that tradition still impacts the process today.

Before there were gogo bars in Bangkok for gay clientele, there were gogo bars for the hetro set. Fish for sale has been a staple for visitors to the Kingdom for decades. The modern version got its start during the Vietnam War when Thailand was a popular spot for military service personnel on R & R. In those days like today, the bars made money off of selling overpriced drinks and for surrounding customers with hot naked flesh. And made even more cash from supplying willing companions to those who wanted a fuller experience.

Working for a Thai employer is a bitch. They don’t pay well. And employees are completely at their mercy. Being the cheap ass most of them are, anytime they can get away with not paying a satang to an employee is a good day in their book. So the bars quickly developed a set of rules that kept employees in line and helped keep their bottom line in the black. The rules, which did and still do change from one bar to the next, are all backed up with monetary fines. Show up late, you get fined. Don’t show up at all, that’s another fine. Some of the straight bars today have even begun fining their stable when a girl gets a short-time off and then does not return to the bar when she’s done. Even outside of the bar world fining employees is a popular pastime among Thai employers. And because it is part of how business is done in Thailand, employees go along with the system that deducts wages from their paycheck.

It’s always best for a gogo bar to have a large stable of employees on hand whenever a customer walks through the door. Sometimes I wish they cared more about quality over quantity, but there ya go. When a gogo bar worker lands a customer, that means one less employe to entertain the clientele. So the bars decided that employee should be fined. What we typically call an off fee in the bars that gay men frequent is called a bar-fine in the gogo bars that cater to the straight crowd. They are the same thing. Whatever the amount set by the bar for this fine is, it is owed to the bar by the employee.

Of course gogo bar employees are poor, and the customer is rich whether that’s true back in his home or not. Traditionally, customers have been expected to pay the bar fine on the employee’s behalf. And that’s cool with the bar. They don’t care whose pocket the money comes from. They are still gonna make a profit out of it. Plus most bars pay a very small wage to each employee for showing up to work – but if that employee lands a customer, they don’t get their normal night’s wage. Because it is assumed they will earn even more from the tip they get off their customer. That’s another fine that isn’t even considered a fine. But does add to the bar owner’s bottom line. This tradition is slowly changing but is still practiced at many bars. I only mention it here to demonstrate how much bar owners love cash. In case you never noticed.

So the off fee, or bar fine, is owed for a bar boy who spends time away from his place of work during regular working hours. If he leaves the bar three times in a night, going for short-time offs with three different customers, he owes the bar three bar fines. All of which will be paid by the customers who decided to off him. If a customer decides to off him for more than one night, the bar boy is fined for each night he is away from work (and unless you are a total asshole, as the customer you will pay that fine on his behalf).

The only time I have ever argued over the amount of a bar fine I was asked to pay was a night after having offed a guy the night before and after having paid for that night’s off fee. The next night we went back to his bar around 9pm so I could pay an additional bar fine because I decided to keep him with me for another night. The bar wanted their usual off fee, plus another 100 baht, which was what their fine was for employees who showed up late for work (he was supposed to be there by 8pm). Both the boy and the bar thought that made perfect sense. And in the world of Bangkok’s gogo bars, it did. My wallet disagreed. And actually won that one. Which still amazes me today.

So if you are confused about when and how much you owe on off fees, thinking of them as bar fines levied against the employe for not being at work should clarify the matter. For every night your boy is not at work – or is late getting there thanks to you, I guess – a bar fine is charged. Which you are supposed to pay. Thinking of them in this manner may also help explain why you should not expect a discount on the bar fines when you off a guy for an extended period of time. It’s like the fine you pay for speeding back home. You don’t get a discount for getting multiple speeding tickets; fines are seldom treated like frequent flyer miles.

A contentious question on bar fines is whether or not you owe the bar an off fee if you meet the boy outside of the bar and he does not miss any work hours due to whatever it is the two for you decide to do together. But that scenario has many different parameters, so I’ll cover that situation in a different post. Stay tuned.

Related Posts You Might Enjoy:

Gay Gogo Bar First Timers Guide Part V

Gay Gogo Bar First Timers Guide Part VII

Your Heart’s Desire

I Lub You Long-Time!

Tags

Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars, Offs

What is the cost – and value – of tieing up a bar boy’s time for a week or more?

Short-time off don’t seem to cause much confusion for visitors to Bangkok’s gogo bar world. It’s pretty cut and dried, the standard wham bam thank you sir experienced anywhere in the world. Short-time offs can last for the few minutes you need to a few hours, though they usually fall into the realm in bar boy parlance of, “You come, I go.” When it comes to loving you long-time, the rules change a bit. Or at least the confusion over the rules do. Long-time offs for newbies are an unknown. And with all the bad advice out there – that’d be erroneous advice from cheap-ass Pattaya sexpats – it’s far too easy to find yourself facing a not too happy ending.

What Is A Long-Time Off?
From the time you decide you want to spend more time with a bar boy than the few minutes it takes you to orgasm onward, the hows and whys of long-time offs are legion. The simplest approach is to enjoy your short-time off, and then go back the next night and off your hottie again. You can do that all week long, or as long as your libido allows. Whether it is once, or 10 nights in a row, each is a single short-time off and all off fees and tips are the same. But as soon as you decide you don’t want him headed back to the bar while you clean yourself up, you’ve entered into a long-time off. And, rightly so, that will cost you more. Though the off fee – the money you pay to the bar for the pleasure of taking him away – is the same whether it is for a short-time or long-time.

A long-time off can be as short as four or five hours. Or it can be overnight. It can also be overnight and into the next afternoon. Which, is up to you. And up to the boy (not all bar boys want a long-time off). If you keep him through the night hours or until the next morning, if your normal short-time tip is 1,500 baht, your tip for the extended stay should be 2,000 baht minimum. And it should be slightly more if you keep him through the afternoon. Food and incidentals during that time all come out of your pocket. And none of those expenses are deducted from his tip. Unless you are planning on keeping him for another day, your long-time off will end in the early afternoon. He’ll want to go back to his loom, clean-up, and catch a few zzzzs before heading back to his bar for another night’s work.

But a long-time off can also be for several days, a week, or as long as your time in Thailand lasts. It’s still called a long-time off even when it is for an extended period of time. Long-time offs that last longer than a single night and day are where the confusion arises. Not that it should. Because the parameters do not change. It’s the same as if you offed him from 10pm until 2pm the next day. Except you are doing so for several days in a row.

The Extended Off
Whether you offed your bar boy for a single night and then fell in love, or fell in lust the minute he took the stage, when you decide you just can’t live without his company for as long as you can afford it, you’re looking at an extended long-time off. If you are lucky and your bank account can afford it, he’ll want to spend that time with you too. But that’s not a given. He may have other commitments. He may be one of his bar’s stars and is able to land several customers a night. Or he may not be that fond of you. So before you start planning your wedding, you need to make sure he is agreeable to spending all the time that your little heart is desirous of. If he is, you are good to go. And the first thing you’ll be going for is your wallet.

The bar charges a fee for you to take one of its employees home with you – the off fee, or bar fine. These days that typically runs between 400 and 600 baht, though at times and at some bars it may even be higher. The off fee is for a single night’s work, if the boy is not back by the time the bar opens the next night, another off fee is owed. So if you plan on keeping your new friend for say 10 nights, you owe the bar ten off fees.

Some guys say that you should get a discount on those off fees for an extended off, based on one of two reasons. Or both. ‘Cuz they’re looking to get lots of sex at a cheaper price. The first justification is that bar boys get one night off each week. They then feel if they keep the boy for a week, one of those nights would be his night off and since he would not be working that night the customer should not have to pay an off fee for that night. I’m not a cheap-ass, but the first time I heard this bit of reasoning, it made sense to me. Until a bar owner explained further, and undoubtedly in a much nicer manner than this: After being forced to spend every waking and non-waking minute with your ass for an entire week, the boy would probably like to have a night off to himself to relax, catch up on his life, or go spend all of the money he just made off of you. By paying the entire week’s offs, you ensure he has that free time away from his bar when your time together is over.

Now if you are thinking with your wallet you’re probably also think right about now, “Fuck that! Let him pay for his own damn time off.” But then you are probably an asshole and one of the cheap bastards who likes to preach about respecting bar boys on the gay forums when it’s obvious you don’t. We’re talking less than twenty bucks. The hit to your karma alone isn’t worth that. And your boy will probably figure out a way to get that money out of you anyway.

The second line of reasoning for a discount on the off fee is that the boy would probably not otherwise get offed that many nights in a row and since the bar is making out by your offing him for a week or more, it’s only right that they give you a discount. Right. The mamasan is not going to see it that way. You are not buying wholesale. If you push it, you may get your way and save $20. After a lot of unpleasant negotiating. While your boy sits there watching you being a cheap bastard. He is going to be less than impressed, to say the least. And he’ll immediately start worrying that you are going to apply the same reasoning to his tip. Which you probably will. Good luck with that happy ending. You’re gonna need it.

Which brings us to the boy’s tip. Just like with the off fee paid to his bar, on an extended off you owe whatever your normal tip is for every night he spends with you. End of story. Yes, the cheap bastards who tried to score a discount on the off fees will offer up the same reasoning for why the tip should be discounted – that the boy probably would not have been offed every night otherwise and should share his good fortune by accepting a lower tip from his benefactor. They’ll also whine about how poorly their currency is doing, how bad the economy is, how expensive their flight to Thailand was . . . none of which has a thing to do with tipping the guy you took away from his life for a week or more. If all you can think about is your wallet, then do it proud and stay home. Or go inflict yourself on the bar boys in Pattaya. They are used to your type and are quite skilled at making sure you only get what you paid for. If that. And then you will have gotten cheap sex and a reason to bitch about how all Thai bar boys are duds in bed as well.

Walking A Mile In The Other Guy’s Shoes
Yes, it is your holiday, and yes, you are the customer. But you are dealing with another human being, not just a piece of meat. So it isn’t all about you. Before you start thinking about how cheaply you can get numerous orgasms for, stop and think about what your pleasure is gonna cost the boy you picked out. Instead of how lucky he is that you picked him.

Most guys who off a bar boy for an extended period of time want to spend that entire time with the boy. That means he is being taken away from his family and friends for the entire off. And – sex aside – he will be spending that entire time doing the thing you enjoy and not the things that bring him enjoyment. He will be eating and sleeping on your schedule, not his. He will be eating the food you like, not what he is used to. More than likely his English skills will not be that good and he will spend a week trying to comprehend what you are saying to him. And failing. Wanting to please, he will attempt to decipher your needs so that he can take care of you. And to top it off, he’s probably straight and will spend a week being pawed by a gay guy. That may all be part of his job, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

I’ve read comments by others who feel there is value – which they fell they should be awarded for – in that the boy gets to sleep in a hotel room far superior to his personal abode. And that he will get to eat at fine dining establishments, places he would not normally have an opportunity to dine at. Some take a trip out of Bangkok, either to another locale in Thailand or somewhere else in SE Asia, and they point out how lucky their boy is to accompany them, getting free air fare, hotel, food, and touring out of the holiday. But that’s your decision, not his. He might not even be interested in whatever destination you chose. And probably won’t be as comfortable with your hotel as he would be with sleeping in his own room. Thinking your largess is all positive points on your side of the balance sheet is faulty thinking. To him, his time with you – in spite of all the money you spend on your holiday – is all about the money he will earn, not about how much you enjoyed yourself.

You, on the other hand, will get even more benefits than a 24-hour-a-day sex companion. Just the companionship alone of having someone to dine and see the sights with is a plus. But you’ll also get a tour guide, someone who knows the best – and cheapest – way to get around town, someone to translate when it is needed, someone who will barter on your behalf and probably get whatever you are purchasing at a cheaper price, and someone who will help you navigate the myriad ins and outs of Thai culture and daily life to keep you from making an ass out of yourself. If you are lucky, you might even enjoy the benefit of making a new friend. When you consider all of the benefits you get compared to what he will go through, putting the thickness of your wallet at the forefront suddenly seems like a terrible thing to do. Because it is.

It’s Up To You
How much you tip is, of course, up to you. If you decide you are owed a discount, at best you are going to save just slightly more than $100. Compare that, and the amount of pleasure you received during your extended off, with what your airfare to Thailand cost, or how much your hotel(s) cost and it quickly becomes evident what a paltry sum that really is. Especially when that experience is probably the major reason you decided to holiday in Thailand in the first place. But then it’s not just how much you end up paying your long-time off that is up to you. Everything about your time together is.

And how do you value that?

A reader recently asked if when you off a guy long-time if that means he spends all of that time with you. Usually it does. But it is up to you. You may want a night or day off (and he’ll be thrilled). Just don’t start calculating his hourly rate to deduct those hours from his tip. Someone else asked if you buy him a gift, like a new cell phone, if that comes out of his tip. Uh, that one is not up to you – it doesn’t. Nor does any of the money you spend on his food, etc. What the two of you do during your time together is all up to you. There are no rules and on those decisions you can be as selfish as you want. Whether or not he will want to do a long-time off again on your next visit, or whether or not any of his bar mates will be interested in a long-time off with you, is up to you too.

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First Timers Guide To Bangkok Gay Gogo Bars: How To Choose A Bar Boy

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Gay Bangkok, Gay GoGo Bars, Offs

With all the hot choices, how do you select a companion for the evening?

You’d think that with a few dozen half naked guys standing on the stage selecting which bar by is going to spend his night devoted to curling your toes would be an easy one. There’s strength in numbers, and with a bit a luck a few of those guys may even be sporting a number with some strength left in it. But how do you cull the herd? How do you pick out the bar boy who’ll bring your fantasies to life from those who will make you wish you’d just stayed in your hotel and beat yourself to sleep?

You may rely on the traditional method of offing the first guy who tells you that he loves you. But we all know actions speak louder than words. We also all know that a bar boy’s word seldom equates to action. At least not the kind you were hoping for. Or that he promises. But every bar boy has tells, there are a vast number of nonverbal clues that you can watch for, which is a pretty good idea since neither of you speaks the others language. Here are some tips that will help you select the perfect bar boy for you. Or that will at least help you avoid the duds.

THE SIZE: If size where it matters matters to you, spending some time in the bar is a must. Because sooner or later the bar will fall back on that old standby, The Big Cock Show.

There are two sizes of guys in any bar, “I in Big Cock Show” and “I not In Big Cock Show”. Now you may think those that are have a good reason to be. Several inches of good reason in fact. But Big Cock Shows really aren’t about big cocks. The boy is only in the Big Cock Show because he gets paid extra money for showing you what he’s packing. You do have to remember you are still in Asia. And in Asia math still adds up the same: 1+1 equals 2, and 2 inches is still too small to bother with even when it is the norm. Three inches, however, qualifies as a big cock in the Thai mind. No problemo. The Big Cock Show provides you two opportunities for checking your list twice.

Big Cock Shows are about cock, big – not so much.

If you are still stuck on size, always select a seat furthest from the stage. You’re old, your eye sight isn’t what it once was, and that you are in a gogo bar thinking you’re gonna find a guy who’ll give you the night of your life proves you are delusional too. You can combat these faults and turn them into positives with distance. And that’s fairly simple. If you can not see the guy’s big cock from where you are sitting without squinting, it’s not. Pass.

Guys with small dicks will tell you it isn’t about size but rather about what you can do with it. I don’t know why some scientist doesn’t grab a shitload of money in government grants by studying why guys with small peni lie so much. But even a small penis is better than a flaccid one. And if a bar boy can not get hard, he can not take part in a Big Cock Show.

Now you do have to realize those engorged cocks on stage only stay that way thanks to a torn rubber serving as a cock ring. But the guy had to work up a stiffy in the first place, so you already are a step ahead of the game. The other tell here is that the guy flashing his proud member proudly, despite its size, is almost always a confirmed top. Those who seem embarrassed about what they are showing know it is not their most important asset anyway.

Bar boys who know how to accessorize are few and far between.

THE ACCESSORIES: While newbies may concentrate on size, old hands know a much better indicator of just how good of a time you’ll have is a bar boy’s cell phone. Every bar boy comes equipped with a cell phone these days. And no bar boy in the history of the world has ever bought a cell phone for himself. That hot young thang with the latest version of the iPhone? He convinced some other sucker to buy it for him. And already feels the need for an upgrade. You’ll be buying one for him tomorrow.

Cell phones are seldom used to make phone calls these days. (Don’t argue. You’re old. And a Luddite.) The newer ones have a large assortment of games to play. And there are movies and television to watch too. You can even surf the internet on your phone. Bar boys are much more fond of their cell phones than they ever will be about you. And are much more interested in being amused by their cell phone than they are in amusing you. Look for the bar boy with the oldest cell phone in the bar. Sure he wants a new iPhone too, but that fact his is so old shows you he is already used to being disappointed. With nothing but the ability to text, back in your hotel room he will apply himself to the job at hand instead of the technology in his hands. Picking a bar boy with an outdated phone also means he is probably not internet savvy and won’t Google your name to find out what others think of you, nor will he discover how cheaply you’ve bragged you’ve gotten away with tipping bar boys in the past.

THE HAIR STYLE: In her day, which was a few scant years during the early 80s, Tina Turner was a gay icon. Thai bar boys are big on nostalgia and a favorite hairstyle emulates that of Tina in her Private Dancer days. Which, considering what their job is, kind of makes sense. It also makes sense that any guy who patterns his hairstyle after a woman’s is not going to score high on the manly man index. Conversely, if you don’t mind screaming little fems, he probably will bottom. Tina did.

Thais are proud of being Thai. So they often adopt the stylings of other Asian countries. The Korea look is big in Thailand these days. And will be until Thais realize eating dog is essential to the Korean experience. While you do not have to be concerned that his breath may smell like summer kimchee, the bar boy you are eyeballing with the Korean pop star hairdo should still send a shiver down your spine. Or at least down the spine of your wallet. That hairdo cost him 600 baht minium. Thais can buy a new buffalo for 600 baht. This is a bar boy who is high maintenance. And you will be the person to keep him looking in the manner to which he’s grown accustomed.

This one is gay.

Bar boys with short hair, or buzz-cuts are always straight and won’t do everyting regardless of what they claim. Those with spikey hair are your best choice if you are into kink. And if it looks like they used a bowl to style their last haircut, they are fresh off the farm and probably have not yet landed a kindhearted customer who taught them how to suck dick.

THE LADYBOYS. If ladyboys are what gets your heart thumping, you should be hanging out at the straight bars in Nana that only employ ladyboys. The reason those bars are in the straight entertainment district is that everyone except you knows that being a ladyboy has nothing to do with being gay. But show tunes do and the only place in town that will allow them to take stage and lip sync Don’t Cry For Me Argentina are the gay gogo bars. And yes it is amazing that even though they haven’t a clue where Argentina is, or even what it is, those are still real tears. Ladyboy acts are important part of your evening if you want to make sure you too don’t end your night with your eyes filled with tears.

Little fem gay boys who aren’t man enough to commit to giving up their dick still get a hard-on thinking about the days when they too can don a beautiful gown and be the envy of every old hag they remember from back home in their village. Pre-ops, of course, are easy to spot. Those little baby tits don’t grow that way naturally. Ladyboy wanna-bes are a bit trickier. Some even still look and act like a real man.

When the ladyboy act comes on, do not watch the stage. You didn’t really want to anyway. Watch the bar boys instead. Those who get a wistful look in their eyes are the ladyboy wanna-bes. Those who look like they want to jump on stage and start plowing into the ladyboys are straight. And horny. The scent of money will bring them to their senses, but if you are an old queen these are the guys that might be capable of getting up enough interest to fulfill your dreams.

Thai smiles are hard to read. Sing language is not.

THE SMILE: One of the reasons Thailand is known as The Land of Smiles is that Thais have perfected a few hundred versions, few of which have anything to do with what one would normally smile about. The bar boy flashing a big grin in your direction is not happy to see you. Though he may be happy to see your wallet. Thai have smiles that say, “You disgust me but you may be rich,” “I’m straight but with the help of a little blue pill I may be able to get a good tip out of you,” and “You really think that just because you are not old I’m going to enjoy this anymore than I would with an old fart?” Learning to differentiate one smile from another would be great, but you only have two weeks in country and there are more important things for you to learn. Like how to tell how big of a cock a Thai guy has. Instead, devote your time to wiping that smile off his face.

You can learn a Thai bar boy’s sexual identification by tweaking one of his tits. Straight bar boys will keep smiling (that’s the ‘Payback’s a bitch smile”). Ladyboy wanna-bes will quit smiling and screech because you are damaging the merchandise. Gay bar boys will keep smiling too, but they’ll also get hard. Because unlike straight guys, gay guys the world over known there is a direct connection between your nipples and your cock.

Though when confused Thais will normally keep smiling, when money is involved it throws them for a loop and that smile will quickly dissipate. Tip your potential bar boy 20 baht as soon as he sits down. If he smiles and leaves (that’s the, “Fuck you” smile btw), you just saved yourself a world of financial hurt. If he asks for more, smile for him and then walk away. If he takes the money and starts playing with your crotch, then you just learned what he is willing to do for 20 baht and your smile should be out shinning his.

If only it were that easy.

THE PACKAGE: You don’t have to be a size queen to be concerned about the size of a bar boy’s package. Unfortunately not all bars have a Big Cock Show and even those that do mistakenly think other numbers are required. That leaves most punters having to stare at the boys’ bulges, trying to decipher length from girth. While that is a lost cause, there are three things to watch for that will clue you in on a bar boy’s short comings.

If he stores his cell phone inside of his underwear where his package should be . . . well, the fact there was room enough to do so should tell you all you need to know. If he covers his crotch with his numbered badge, he’s attempting a bit of subliminal advertising and hope you will confuse his number 11, with what he is packing, 2. And lastly, if you are at Tawan and the bulge seems to be top heavy, he’s been stacking steroids for some time now and his balls are the size of peanuts. And worth just as much for your purposes.

THE SHOES: Even if punters never bother to consider the cleanliness of a bar, bar boys do. That culturally the bottoms of your feet are considered the least clean part of your body in Thailand and yet even bar boys won’t allow the bottoms of their feet to come in contact with the bar’s floor should tell you something. Shoes are a bar boys last defense and the last piece of clothing they get rid of in a bar. Almost all bar boys wear shoes during their rotation. And what they choose to wear on their feet can be instructive.

The latest model from Nike means he has a ‘boyfriend’ overseas who regularly sends him large sums of money. In fact he probably has several boyfriends overseas who all send him large sums of money. Of course, if you are looking for love, this is probably the bar boy for you because he has already learned to say all the things you want to hear.

If he is wearing a pair of name brand sneakers that are obvious Thai knock-offs (look for brand names that don’t go with the logo or that are misspelled) he is fashion conscious but down to earth. Which means he has not yet found a customer to buy him the latest iPhone and won’t concern himself with footwear until that goal has been reached. The cost of an iPhone is still cheaper than the cost of supporting him and his entire village, so this one has potential.

If he is wearing flip flops, he is fresh off the truck; back in his village those are called dress shoes. This bar boy will be inexperienced, shy, but easily malleable. Plus you’ll be able to put a smile on his face by buying him a 300 baht pair of knock-off sneakers. A cheap deal all around.

Big muscles usually does not mean a big muscle.

THE DEJECTED AND REJECTED: While you may think Thai guys work in bars for the enjoyment it brings them to walk around half naked in front of a bunch of octogenarians, the truth is that for most it’s all about money. I know. Shocking. And you thought it was all about you. It’s not. It’s about the bar boy and whether or not he’ll be able to feed himself for another day. Slavery is not a Thai institution too far in the past and bar owners still harken back to the good old days. And as much as they hate the idea, they do have to pay their staff a salary. Even if it is below poverty wages. But with your help they can escape that drain on their bank account.

When a bar boy lands a customer the bar owner gets a double bonus to his bank account. First, the off fee you pay goes directly into his pocket. Second, when a bar boy is offed, the owner no longer has to pay his wages for that day. Bar boys salaries are not so much about income as they are about being a consolation prize. Yup, now the generosity of that bar owner who ‘pays the off’ for any of his boys taken out of the bar after midnight starts making sense, huh? Sure he isn’t profiting on the off fee he just gave up, but he also doesn’t have to pay that boy his daily wage either. Yes, charity does begin at home. Especially if your home is on a sleazy soi in Pattaya.

But that doesn’t mean that you too can’t profit from a bar boy’s lot in life. Bar boys who can’t manage to work up a smile are bar boys who seldom get offed. And they are more willing to do whatever pleases you. They’ll even accept a lower tip than is the norm. Of course if you are so willing to take advantage of a young man’s plight and so cheap that saving $15 on your orgasm is what really matters, then you head directly from the airport to Pattaya anyway. And this post is about Bangkok gogo bars. So kindly fuck off.

His ink can tell you a lot about a bar boy

THE INK: Some punters hate tattoos. That’s a shame because nowadays anyone under the age of thirty sports at least one tat. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean the guy you are considering offing is ink free. And while you may be able to ignore a tat on his arm, it’s difficult to ignore ink that encroaches on those areas that are important to you. But the question of does he or doesn’t he isn’t as important as what his tats are.

Tattooing is part of Thai culture. Traditional tats are not cheap, nor do Thai gets them from cheap tat parlors. Traditional tattoos are religious in nature in Thailand, they bring their skin’s wearer good luck or protect him from the thousands of evil demons that call Thailand their home. It’s just surprising no one has come up with a tat to ward off cheap bastards yet.

Cultural tats in Thailand are applied by monks. They are expensive, usually require several visits to be finished, and are always, regardless of size, quite detailed. They are also quite telling about the bar boy sporting them. First, it shows he is proud of his heritage, and proud to be Thai. That means he will be open, friendly, and easily duped. Second, it shows he realizes there is evil in the world, so he won’t be that surprised when you whip out your leather dog collar and nipple clamps. And lastly, it shows he is a religious person and so will be less likely to perform poorly and still demand a large tip. Unless his pride of heritage takes precedence and then he will perform poorly and still demand a large tip. Plus taxi money.

Do not be fooled by a boy’s participation in a leather number. He’s a ladyboy wanna-be who likes dressing up, not a fan of SM.

Tramp stamps, however, are not part of Thai culture. Bar boys with tats running across the small of their back have fallen for western ways. You may think a tramp stamp on a tramp is a positive sign, but along with western ink he has probably adopted western fast food as his life-style. And Thais have not yet leaned how to make pudgy attractive.

Playboy bunnies are still a popular bar boy tat. They mean he is both straight and delusional. Traditional Japanese tattoos are becoming popular in Thailand too. Guys who sport them usually have Japanese-sized cocks, and when you are already starting off at extra-small that’s not a good thing.

THE MIRROR. I know. Mirrors are not your best friend. Reality is always a bitch. But in a Bangkok gay gogo bar the walled mirrors can be of great use. Bar boys use them to stare into, which helps them picture themselves anywhere else. Self-aware punters use them to remind themselves of the ordeal their bar boy du jour is gonna be facing, and will then tip accordingly. The more focused among us focus on the best use of the mirrors: checking out the bar boys’ asses. If you catch one of the guys on stage using the mirror to check out his own ass, he’s a keeper because any bar boy who is proud of his ass is one who knows how to use it.

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